Except then he was pressing a cold washcloth between my legs and that felt divine. He held it there for a long moment, until the coolness went away. Then he tossed the cloth on the floor and got into bed with me. I moved to make room.
He was on his back, his arm bent behind his head to support it. His face was so serious.
“Are you going to be weird now?” I asked him. Because I didn’t want us to be weird. Not now, in this moment.
He looked at me and his expression softened. “My plan was to leave once the deed was done.”
“That sounds like a very Marc thing to do,” I told him.
“Yeah, I was going to be all…nice fuck, I’m done now. Going to head back to my room.”
I smiled. “Well, at least I was going to get a compliment out of it.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Ash, I swear to God…I don’t. I don’t understand what I feel when I’m around you.”
I slid closer to him and rested my cheek on his chest. My thigh across his.
“Did it hurt really bad?” he asked.
“At first,” I said honestly. “Did you like spanking me?”
“Fuck, yes,” he laughed. “Never did anything like that before in my life. I just thought I needed to loosen you up somehow. Finally, finally getting to smack your ass. If I didn’t know what this night was about, I might have come right then and there.”
“I’m too sore for us to do it again. I don’t want this to be our only time before I leave. Which if you hadn’t made us wait…”
“If we’d spent these last few weeks since your birthday fucking our brains out, tomorrow would be that much harder. You got what you wanted. I have your virginity now for all time. Tomorrow we split apart and get on with our lives.”
“Are you going to have sex with other women?” I asked him. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t. We’re not in a relationship yet. I just want to know if you are so I can prepare myself.”
“I’m going to fuck all the women,” was his answer.
“Asshole,” I muttered. Then, because I was tired, I relaxed more against him. All the anticipation of this day, this night. What it meant for our future. Finally, just the physical exertion of the act itself. All of it weighed me down until I felt myself drifting off to sleep in Marc’s arms.
* * *
Marc
I listened to her even breathing. In and out. In and out. There was always a certain amount of pleasure to be found in listening to Ash breathe easy. I held her close to my chest and tried to force my brain to think about other things.
I was taking her to the airport tomorrow. After that, I had a week left at my internship before heading back to school. I’d doubled my credits for this semester and would see if that would crush me, or if I could handle the workload.
Fucking Arthur Landen and his damn threats. But Ash was right, in that I wasn’t the only leverage he had over her. The sooner I graduated, the sooner I would be making my own money. Enough to support both Ash and George if that’s what I needed to do.
What I didn’t think about. What I wouldn’t let myself think about. What I decided I would never think about again…was sex with Ash.
That feeling in my chest when I first slid inside her. More than any orgasm. More than any sexual feeling at all. It was an explosion of warmth and comfort and safety and love.
Home.
The very second I thrust into her, connected our bodies, I knew I’d found it.
I’d had a home once, and they had to pull me out of it kicking and screaming.
I didn’t want that again. I didn’t want to feel that pain again. Because, somehow, I knew when I watched Ash walk away from me tomorrow, that was exactly how I would feel.
I had to find a way to cut this out of me now or it would fester.
Or you could hold on to it. Hold on to her. This time no one could take her away.
