“Sex for a girl hurts the first time, Ash. I don’t think there is any getting around that.”
Why was I even talking about this? There was no way, NO WAY, I was taking her virginity. But I started to rub my hand, more gently this time, over the streaks I’d left, to smooth out the lotion.
“I know. I’ve talked to other girls about it. But they all said it was worth it. The way I felt the other night, the way you made me feel, I believe it. It was so intense. Didn’t you think it was intense?”
After my orgasm in the shower, I’d jacked myself off three more times that night. Over and over again because I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
“It was just a kiss,” I told her. “Not really a big deal.”
“Maybe not for you. You do it all the time. But it was my first and I thought it rocked.”
My hand stilled again, this time over her neck. She’d pulled her hair out of my way and had her head bent. “That was, seriously, your first kiss?”
“Chris tried it after school one time, when George was late picking me up and I decided to walk home. But that doesn’t count because I didn’t want him to. I threatened him with biting his tongue off and he backed off.”
“That fucker,” I muttered, even as I brought my other hand onto her back. Now I was rubbing her shoulders, using my thumbs to dig into her muscles until she groaned.
“Of course I waited for you, Marc. I’ll wait for sex, too, until you decide you’re ready.”
“I don’t want to have sex with you.”
“Really? Because I can feel your erection against my hip.”
She wasn’t wrong. I’d been hard this whole time. And now, with her body under my hands, her back undulating with my strokes, my erection was even more urgent.
“Being hard for you and wanting to fuck you are two different things.”
“Can you please explain that?” she asked, even as she lifted her ass in the air when my thumbs pressed into the small of her back, my fingers practically circling the span of her waist.
“It means your body turns me on. It always has, since you grew up. But I don’t want the complications of fucking you. And there would be complications.”
“Like what?”
“Ash, you’re all up into my shit now. How do you think you’re going to feel if I bone you?”
“You say that like it’s one-way. It’s not.”
“It is,” I insisted. Then I started to run my hands up her back again, my thumbs on either side of her spine, my fingers dancing along her ribs until I felt the soft full flesh of her tits. One more inch farther up and they would be in my hands.
“Okay, fine.” Her breath was coming in soft pants. Shallow enough I worried she would get too excited.
“Breathe, Ash. Slow breaths. Easy in, easy out.”
She did, and I could feel her rib cage expand. Could feel her taking in the oxygen she needed.
“But if all the complications are on my side, and I’m leaving in a few weeks, why do you care?”
She was leaving in a few weeks. I wouldn’t see her. Wouldn’t touch her. She’d be an ocean away from me.
I removed my hands from her back, found the strings of the suit on either side of her body, and pulled them together to tie them in a tight knot. Officially closing her off to me.
She let out a disappointed sigh, then flopped over on to her back.
I wanted to touch her again so I forced myself to get off the lounge. “Find someone who will be gentle with you, Ash. Because I would not be.”
“I don’t want gentle! I want you!”
I didn’t listen. Instead, I left the pool area, headed to the carriage house and the shower. This time, though, I did linger. This time I let myself think about her naked back and how fucking hot it would be to come all over it. To rub it into her skin so I would always be there. A part of her. Inside of her.
A few more weeks. The truth was, I didn’t know if I was going to make it.
