Because she was dead, and I was still alive.
“Am I?” I asked the empty office. There were times in the past few months I sure as hell felt alive. It was like a limb waking up after being asleep for so long. All tingles and spikey needles. A pleasurable sort of pain.
But the limb was no longer numb. There was all this feeling in it. So much I couldn’t ignore it.
“I’ve got to tell the guys what Ark did, Sarah. They’ll want to talk about it. Probably over a few beers so we’ll head into town. Get our usual table at Bud’s.”
No response.
“She might be there.”
Still no response. I sighed.
“Yeah, I know, I know. Nothing to say about that. Because you’re dead. And I’m not.”
I got out of my chair and left my office. Turning off the light so I could no longer see Sarah or Emily.
“I’m not dead,” I muttered.
19
EEI (Earth EnergyInternational) Sea Rig 8
Twenty miles off the coast of Scotland
Six weeks later
Olivia
The helicopter ride was bumpy. I had been told to prepare for it as the winds this far north were always pretty choppy.
“This your first time out to a rig at sea?” Cody, one of my new co-workers, asked. The question came over my headset as it was the only way to communicate it what amounted to a loud wind tunnel inside the chopper.
I shook my head. “No, I spent time on a rig in the North Sea.”
I swallowed as I felt the pain well up. As it did every time I thought of Alaska. Or more accurately, Noah. I told myself I would give it two solid months to grieve. To hurt. To cry.
My first real heartbreak deserved a period of mourning.
After that, I wouldn’t think of him anymore. I would try to accept one of the offers I’d received since moving to Scotland to go out on an actual date. I would forget about Noah and his lovemaking and everything about him…in two weeks.
That seemed impossible, but so did earning the position of VP of operations at one of the largest energy companies on the planet. Apparently EEI had their eyes on me for some time.
So when they made the big offer, it only made sense to take it.
Or did it?
Or had I blown the one chance at love I would ever have? Two weeks. He hadn’t called or spoken to me. For two weeks!
What was I supposed to think? What was I supposed to do when the job I’d been working toward my entire career finally fell into my lap?
You should have told him you were leaving.
“I should have told him,” I muttered.
“What was that?” Cody asked.
“Sorry,” I said more clearly into the mouth piece. “I was just talking to myself.”
