We’ll see.
What the fuck did that mean?
I got in my truck and decided I needed to talk to a woman. I couldn’t say anything to Shelby because she would just kick my ass when I told her what had happened. Then she would tell Eli, who would absolutely kick my ass.
I thought about calling my sister but, yet again, another ass kicking.
There was Jenny. Interpersonal relationships weren’t necessarily her thing, still she was a woman. Besides, Jenny wouldn’t judge me, I thought. I could tell her everything then maybe she could help me make sense of what Olivia was thinking right now.
I turned the truck in the direction of her cabin.
* * *
Ark
“And that’s it. She’s not pregnant. Which I thought she would be thrilled about but it’s like she tucked herself inside some shell and I feel like I can’t reach her.”
I glanced at Jenny who hands were curled around a mug of tea. She’d made one for me, too, but I was not a tea guy.
“How do you feel about her?”
“What are you talking about? You know my deal with Liv. Hell, when you first got here, I told you the whole date thing was just to get her jealous.”
“So is she your girlfriend?”
I winced at that. I didn’t do girlfriends. Girlfriends implied commitment, a future. When I had never wanted any of that. Elusive, alone that’s how I’d structured my life.
Did I want something different now? Obviously not, if I was happy as I was about Olivia not being pregnant. No, that wasn’t fair. I was only happy that I hadn’t put her in a position where she didn’t have a choice. I wasn’t really thinking about a baby.
Our baby.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but it made me take a swig of tea.
“No,” I said, rejecting the strange swirling in my gut. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
She was mywoman. Was that the same thing?
“What then?”
“What does it matter?” I asked frustrated. “We’re just doing our thing.”
Jenny scrunched up her face. “You know I struggle with social norms. Labels are helpful for me to put things in context. You’re having sex, but there is no commitment. No emotion. Does that make her your mistress?”
I laughed out loud at that. I could only imagine Olivia’s reaction to being called a mistress. But I considered what else Jenny said.
“There’s emotion,” I admitted.
There had to be, or I wouldn’t need to talk to Olivia every night. I wouldn’t have had her come to Hope’s Point just so I could see her. I wouldn’t be wondering how long I would need to wait to make it seem like a normal thing for me to head to Anchorage so I could see her again.
I wouldn’t be sitting here trying to figure out how I screwed up this morning.
“Emotion and sex, but not a girlfriend. This is very confusing. She was much clearer when she described her feelings toward you.”
That had my eyes popping out. “She talked about me to you?”
“Yes.”
Holy shit. “Jenny, tell me what she said!”
