“Why do you care if I like you?”
Not exactly the answer I was hoping for and not a question I felt comfortable answering. I looked around and spotted him at the bar talking to Bud.
“Because he’s important to me,” I admitted. “I would ask you not to share that with him, though.”
She took a sip of her soda. “I wouldn’t do that.”
I sighed, thankful for that at least.
“You should do that,” she said after a beat.
“I should do what?”
“Tell him he’s important to you. So much you want his friends to like you.”
I snorted. Yeah, right. Me. Just hand that information over to Noah on a platter. Totally giving him the upper hand in this relationship. That wasn’t going to happen.
I shook my head. “Noah and I…well, it’s complicated.”
“Because you two make it that way. You should tell him how you feel. Ask him if he feels the same way. Then you would both know, and you could stop fighting about it.”
I blinked. Jenny said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Truthful and open communication.
“Don’t you understand how I could get hurt doing that?”
I asked the question as if she was being naïve. Let’s start with the fact I wasn’t even sure if Noah liked me. Wanted me, yes. Wanted to be with me outside of a bed? Until he’d invited me here on the absolutely false pretenses of working on his design—as if he would let anyone alter his work—I would have said I had no clue.
Only he did invite me here. There had to be a real reason why but the way he kept pressuring me to take the pregnancy test, as if he was petrified of the results, told its own story.
I thought about the pregnancy test in my overnight bag. I hadn’t lied to him when I said I had no intention of drawing out the suspense. I just wanted a little more time so I would feel confident in the result. Whatever it was.
Maybe I was here only for that. For him to gage and assess me. Sweet talk me into taking the test…so he could absolve himself of any responsibility toward me. Even though I’d already told him that any consequences would be mine and mine alone.
Jenny’s face soured. “I can see you thinking in your head. Weighing all the possibilities. If you asked him questions, he might answer you.”
This time I got my back up a little. “Have you ever done that? Been completely out there with your feelings with a man? Asked him straight up how he felt about you?”
She shut down on me then, and I knew I’d hurt her. Not intentionally, but the result had been the same.
“I’m sorry,” I said automatically.
“I’m not like you,” she said in lieu of an answer. “I’m different.”
Jenny’s special. Let’s leave it at that.
That’s what Noah had said about her and I could see it now. Like she had this hard, impenetrable shell around this soft, gooey center. It made me suddenly feel protective of her, and it totally made sense why Noah would call this woman a friend. He’d have her back, too. Against anyone who wanted to hurt her.
“I’m afraid,” I said softly. “A coward, I guess. I don’t want to get hurt.”
“Nobody does. Except we do, all the time. Even by people who are supposed to love us.”
We were spared any further conversation when Noah arrived at the table. A beer for him and another soda for Jenny. Burgers for me and him and a basket of fries to share.
There wasn’t a lot of small talk. Silly things to be said just for the sake of saying them. I asked Jenny about her living arrangements and if she was nervous about the winter.
She wasn’t.
Noah asked her about her plans to set up guided tours. Apparently she was a natural outdoors woman. She said she was working on laying out trails but wouldn’t start to advertise until spring.
