He says it in good humor, but each word hits like a hammer. I grunt something and leave before I wrap my hands around his scrawny neck.
Back in the truck, I stare at my reflection in the rearview mirror. Wrinkles at the corners of my eyes, gray creeping into my beard, lines cut deep into my forehead from years of frowning at the world.
What do I have to offer her?
A steady paycheck and a back that’ll give out in ten years. A temper that runs too hot. A heart so tangled up in her already it feels like another damn weakness.
She deserves someone young. Someone who won’t hold her back. Someone who won’t have the whole town whispering behind her back about sugar daddies and desperate witches.
And still, I can’t let her go.
Once I’m home I don’t go inside immediately. I sit in the truck a long time, staring at the mountain peak overhead as dusk rolls in. My phone feels heavy in my pocket. I don’t like the damn thing, never did, but it’s the only way I can reach her before I lose my nerve.
I scroll until her name fills the screen. My thumb hovers over the call button. I shouldn’t do this. I should keep my mouth shut, marry the woman, and pray to every spirit, and deity she never realizes she’s completely out of my league. Hell in my prime, she was out of my league.
But if she’s going to break my heart, better now than after she’s taken my name.
The line clicks, and her voice comes through, bright and warm.
“Hey, big guy. Missing me already?”
My throat closes up, her voice melting me into a warm state of relaxation. Then I remember the clerk’s grin, the pity in the saleslady’s eyes, and the words scrape out of me raw.
“You don’t have to go through with this, Sabrina.”
Silence. Just the faint whisper of a breeze blowing through the pines.
“What?”
I rub a hand over my face.
“I’m too old for you. You know it. The whole town knows it. You don’t owe me a damn thing.”
Her laugh is brittle, like glass about to crack.
“Is this supposed to be some kind of test? Because if it is, you’re failing spectacularly.”
“I’m serious.” The words taste like ash on my tongue. “You deserve a man closer to your age. Someone who won’t slow you down. I don’t want you to look back one day and wonder why you tied yourself to a washed-up lumberjack twice your age.”
There’s a sharp inhale on her end. Then her voice, low and shaking, “Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Sabrina—”
“No. You made yourself clear, Cole.” Her words are hit like a sucker punch. “Good to know I’m just some mistake you’re trying to erase before tomorrow.”
The call cuts out, leaving nothing but the echo of her voice in my head.
Good to know I’m just some mistake you’re trying to erase.
I stare at the phone until the screen goes black. My hand won’t unclench. My chest feels like it’s splitting open.
I told myself I was being noble. Giving her a chance to walk away before she regretted me.
But as I sit in the cab of my truck, the mountains swallowing the last light of day, it feels less like I handed her freedom and more like I shoved her away with both hands.
I’ve fucked up.
Sabrina
