Not that I didn’t think he was kind enough for it, I just didn’t think he’d want people in his space. I kind of thought he’d offer to wait outside with me, give me a side arm to protect myself. Or hell, even drive me into town himself just to drop me off.
But to actually stay in his space, when he didn’t want to be around anyone.
Yup, color me dumbfounded for sure.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he told me, shaking his head. He made his rounds of checking to make sure the windows were locked, as well as the front door before turning on the hallway light.
All I could do was stand in the same place I was, and stare at him. Because that made no damn sense to me.
“Are you going to follow me so I can show you the rest of the place, or just stand there all night? I mean, you can, but I do think it would get uncomfortable.”
“Chance, you don’t have to offer up your spare room,” I told him, finally following him.
“I can’t drive you into town, Johanna, not at night. I have,” he stopped himself, then walked into the room, flipping on the switch for me. “This is the lesser of two evils for me. Good night.”
***** Chance *****
I left her there, standing in the room that was right across from mine, and I don’t know why.
Well, no, that was a lie. I did know why.
I couldn’t drive her back; it wouldn’t be safe. My tremors and flashbacks kicked in a lot at night, and the lights on the cars triggered it a whole lot more. I couldn’t say that it would be safe for either of us.
And if I was being honest with myself, she soothed me.
I know she picked up on it when we had that cry fest.
Fuck, I cried. I wailed.
That might have been the first damn time I really let a tear fall over my best friend. And who was with it? His mom.
Who was also twisting my mind up even more because I called her a MILF. A mother I’d like to fuck?
Yes, please!
She was far too young and beautiful to be single still. And I knew she wasn’t into a one-night stand. And at this point, that was all I could give her, even if she did happen to look at me because I was not a man who could offer more.
I was half the man I was, thanks to my military experience.
“Um,” she said, knocking on the doorframe and I jumped slightly, looking at her from the bed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you, you seemed lost in thought. I just wanted to let you know that I sleep with my door open. And I’m an early riser,so don’t be surprised if you find me in your kitchen tomorrow morning.”
I looked her over, enjoying the view of her body in the tank top and sleep shorts. Not the best for a cabin in the mountains, but I’m sure she didn’t think she’d be staying here. I needed to remind myself to crank up the heater in her room later.
I was used to the cold, but I’m sure she wasn’t.
“Sure,” I grunted.
I was going to have a mental war over having someone in my space and I’m glad she at least had the foresight to understand what to tell me. Then maybe I could mentally prepare myself for seeing her there.
“Goodnight,” she offered, giving me one of her friendly smiles, which I sort of returned. I watched her leave, my head in a tailspin.
It wasn't that I was so off put to have people here.
Okay, that was a lie.
My sister stayed once about six months after Johnnie died, and she lasted just one night before she said she was staying in town. I guess my nightmares woke her and she didn't like to see me like that. And for that, there wasn't much that could be done.
That was only part of why I stayed away from people.
