“Close.” Vanessa sighed. “My friends are helping this morning, and Sadie and I were going to head over to finish the baskets.”
“Why don’t we take care of that?” Hudson looked at Sadie. “I’d love to help.”
Vanessa smiled at the young man. He’d been wired to help others since he was a young boy when he spent half the day looking for Sadie’s missing kitten. “Hudson, you just got home. I think you’re good to take a chair and watch.”
“Nah.” He chuckled. “I’m fine.”
After a few more cookies, Hudson and Sadie headed out to the Veterans’ Hall. Vanessa promised to follow soon. But first there was something she had to do. When the house was quiet again, she went to the living room, sat on the floor, and pulled her memory box close once more.
She looked at her left hand, at the wedding ring she’d worn since Alan placed it on her finger twenty-two years ago. “I said till death do us part,” she whispered. Tears formed in her eyes. She didn’t try to stop them. “But even then, I didn’t want to take off the ring you gave me.” She sniffed. “I wanted to wear it forever.”
Like they’d done so many times before, memories of that terrible day flashed in her mind again. She’d been putting away a bag of groceries, humming a country song byHillary Scott—“Thy Will”—when there was a knock on the door. Sadie was at school. Cheer practice. And Vanessa hadn’t been expecting anyone.
She could still see herself. A spring in her step as she opened the door. And there they stood. Two uniformed soldiers. One of them held a piece of paper. “Mrs. Mayfield.” He stepped forward. “I’m so sorry.”
It was hard to remember exactly what happened after that. The soldiers came inside, and she fell into the arms of one of them. Not her Alan. Not the medic, the one who had always helped everyone else. In a secret place of Vanessa’s heart, she had always assumed God would give Alan a pass when he was in battle.
Because he was the one helping the other soldiers live. So certainly God wouldn’t take Alan. Never Alan.
The soldiers stayed until Sadie got home. Her daughter took a moment to grasp the news, and then... her wailing and sobbing began. Vanessa could still hear the way Sadie yelled for her daddy. The horror of it all had stayed with Vanessa every day since.
Time would move them on to new chapters, but it would never erase the way it had felt to lose Alan. To acknowledge that there had been no sweeping goodbye, no final hug or date or last laugh together. No chance to hold him close in his final moments and tell him no one would ever love him more. No assuring him that Jesus was with him.
He was gone. His body would be returned to them days later, and he was buried in the uniform he loved.
Vanessa lifted her eyes to the window and looked beyond it. Another Scripture came to her. Psalm 121, the first verse.“Ilift upmy eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
I can’t do this without You, Lord.She ignored the streams of tears forging paths on either side of her face. Even if she never talked to Ben again, it was time to move on from the past. Time to acknowledge the reality she’d been living since losing Alan. They were no longer married. Her time with him had come like a very rare gift, and it had ended too soon.
Sadie was right. Alan would want her to take this next step. She sighed and very gently slid her wedding ring from her finger. The black velvet box it came in was still in the cardboard container of heartfelt mementos. Vanessa found it in the mix and opened it.
Then she did what she never imagined doing. She set her wedding ring inside, studied it once more, and closed the lid. She set the ring at the bottom of the box and set it back in the cupboard beneath the television.
A myriad of feelings came over her as she looked at her bare left hand. The deepest sorrow and the greatest certainty. But she felt something else, too. Something she hadn’t thought she’d feel. After four years of missing Alan and longing for him, she felt free.
And now, regardless of what Ben chose to do today, Vanessa Mayfield was doing the one thing she definitely wanted to do. She was going to call Ben and see if he was okay. Then she was going to the Columbus Cares Military Dance.
With Ben or without him.
Chapter 16
The bookcase was almost completely put back together, and Ben’s sweat-soaked T-shirt was proof. He hadn’t taken a break since he started almost an hour ago. By now, Vanessa’s ring was probably sold, the twenty-five thousand dollars tucked away in some safe place where his dad could use it for the trip to Italy. There had been no way Ben could stop the sale.
His dad wouldn’t hear of it.
Ben set down the hammer and grabbed the screwdriver. The bookcase was an antique, but it was solid. Now he had the back securely in place and the shelves once more secured to the interior. He was about to tighten down the screws when he heard a beep from his phone.
With the back of his hand, he wiped his forehead. Only one person would be leaving him a message today. The one person he should’ve called by now. Except he didn’t have anything to tell her. What they had started would officially end with the sale of her long-lost Christmas ring.
Even still, he grabbed his phone and checked it. Sure enough, he’d missed her call. Ben checked his messagesand there it was. A full minute from Vanessa. He dropped to the nearest old chair and played it.
“Ben... I guess I thought I’d hear from you by now.”
He closed his eyes. If only there was a way out of this nightmare.
Her message continued.“Anyway, if you changed your mind, Icanlive with that. I’ve loved every minute of being your friend. I don’t think you were ready for more. But please call me. I can’t believe we could end things like this. Whatever you’re going through, Ben... I’m here.”
Whatever he was going through? If she had any idea what he was going through, she’d blame him for all of it. He should’ve rushed into the store and grabbed the ring. Proven to his dad then and there that the ring was definitely engraved. But all this time, while he worked on the bookcase, Ben had thought for sure his dad would check for himself.
