‘No, I have not done that,’ Scarlett says to her sister. I totally missed what they were talking about, but I suspect that if she’s unaware of her G-spot, then she definitely has never done whatever else SGR suggested. There’s nothing wrong with vanilla, but sometimes it can be nice to add nuts, fruit, a little sauce.
‘That’s why you’d add this… so you can stimulate that, while that is happening… and then use the remote to do this…’ SGR picks up the dildo and adds attachments to it. Given she’s not seen this model before, I applaud how she puts it together like a soldier building a rifle from scratch. Her sister’s eyes widen. ‘I love the attachments, by the way,’ SGR tells me.
‘Yes, it just makes it easy to store and clean.’
‘You’re supposed to clean your sex toys?’ SGR asks me.
I nod, slowly.
Scarlett picks it up, now fully accessorised, and tries to work out what goes where. She gives it a look like one would an alien, examining the shape of the bellend and the weight of it in her hands. She also smells it, which is a strange move.
‘Can we make it smell less… you know, rubbery?’ Scarlett asks.
‘We could add a scent, that is a thing now.’
‘Bubblegum?’ SGR says.
It’s not an ice-cream cone. ‘I can look into that for you. I also would love some words from you for promo stuff. Be honest, sincere… There are very few celebrities who are sex-positive, so we can help you grow that. Actually, one of the directors here owns a charity and that’s the focus of her work, so I can hook you guys up. She’s going to be on a TV chat show thing next week.’
For some reason, I think Mum will get on with this girl. She’ll like the attention to detail, the fluffy parts of her get-up, that excitable sweet energy.
‘I want to make videos too,’ SGR tells me.
Charlie’s eyes widen at this point. I want to say Mum will help with that, but her days of that are long gone.
‘People need to know how to use them. Maybe some animations, pictures, manuals?’ she suggests.
I breathe a sigh of relief, looking down at my scrappy drawing in biro. We’d need to get someone else in to do that, but it’s a good idea. ‘We can work on that.’
SGR picks up some of the other merchandise on the table and holds it up to her camera to take some selfies. Those are love eggs you’re posing with. I hope you know that.
‘Maybe we can package some of this together?’ I say. ‘We can brand it as “A Girl’s Night In”, “Love Yourself”, “Me Time”?’
‘I LOVE that,’ SGR exclaims, studying my face. I hope I don’t seem old to her Gen Z self. ‘You know your stuff, Josie. You’re very cool. I’m glad we’re working with you.’
Charlie nudges me a little unsubtly at this point and I chuckle under my breath. For all my reservations, this girl has surprised me today, in a good way. I don’t think I’ll be using her dildos with the faces, but let’s just hope her three million followers will think differently.
‘And what about the jewellery… Is that different?’ Scarlett asks, trying to wrap something around her wrist. ‘How does this work?’
SGR laughs heartily. ‘They’re beads, sis. They don’t go there.’
‘Well, where the hell do they go?’
SGR rolls her eyes and turns to me. ‘Make sure the first free samples go to her.’
SEVENTEEN
I just stole someone’s coffee from Starbucks,Cam’s text reads.
How does one do that?
I’m not sure. It was on the counter, I took it. I only found out when I got on the bus and realised I had a drink for Carly that tastes like hazelnut.
Thief.
That makes me cool and dangerous, no?
Of course. All the cool and dangerous ones ride the number 50 bus to Battersea.How are you feeling? First day back to work. You ready?
