I offer them both a seat. ‘This is Charlie, he’s on an internship here.’
‘I know who you are, can I just say I’m a huge fan. I think you’re legit awesome,’ he says.
I smile. We need to work on your business speak, Charlie, but SGR’s shoulders relax and I’m glad he’s at least broken the ice.
‘Thank you,’ she replies. ‘This place is wild! You work here?’ SGR asks me.
I nod. I guess I only see my desk and the water cooler element of my job. I forget that there are a few pop art posters around the place of phalluses and such. There’s one by a famous northern artist above my desk that’s a pair of boobs that look like eyes. Whilst SGR is entranced, her sister is not. She has a look about her like she’s just walked into a strip club; it’s focused, scared, wild-eyed. Don’t worry, a dildo isn’t going to jump out and slap you across the face.
‘Do you mind if I take some pics along the way for my Stories?’ SGR asks me, her iPhone poised in her hands.
‘That’s fine. Just use the good filters on me,’ I joke.
Her face tells me that that was a given. She takes a selfie in my office, throwing up a peace sign, her lips pouted. How do these people know their angles so well? I need to take at least twenty selfies and move around a room three times before I find a pic I like.
‘So is your name actually Sugar?’ I ask. I think this is a valid question, though Charlie gives me a glare like I should know that already.
‘It’s Sarah, but everyone called me Sugar growing up, so it stuck.’
I won’t dig about where the vowels went. ‘So, I just wanted to thank you for coming in today. We thought we’d bring you in to chat about your new launch. I’ve arranged a fact file for you on the table that talks about the full range of merchandise, pricing and our marketing plan for the next few weeks. Samples will be sent out to the influencers and celebrities on your list.’
‘Shug,’ Scarlett prompts her sister, who’s working out her fonts on her phone. ‘Focus.’
SGR flares her nostrils at Scarlett and smiles at me.
‘Charlie, can you get the box out for us?’ I ask.
He reaches under the desk and gets out all the merchandise, laying it on the table carefully.
‘These are the end products and packaging for your approval,’ I say. ‘Once you sign off on this, then we are good to go and we will start pushing advertising on all our platforms. There will be banners on the website and all social media.’
SGR leans over and picks up her multicoloured, lava lamp vibrator. Does her sister blush? I hear you ask. Well, the red of her cheeks could heat the room.
‘Has the shape of this changed?’ SGR asks.
‘We made some alterations, we sent out samples to a testing panel we use and got some feedback. People weren’t so keen about it having a face…’
‘But that was the point. Then you could give them a name?’ SGR tells me.
‘I don’t quite know who would name a vibrator?’ I say.
‘Then how do you differentiate your sex toys from each other?’
‘By colour and size, plus I only have three. They’re not easily confused,’ I reply.
Charlie has a hand to his chin to try to cover his laughter. I’m not sure what he finds funnier, the fact that a girl he was crushing on names her sex toys or that his boss has three. I don’t need a friendship with my dildos.
‘And tell me about the shape, why is it bent? It looks wonky,’ SGR tells me. She holds it and waves it around to test its endurance, which makes Charlie cross his legs.
‘Shug, we spoke about this… They are the experts, so we needed to come together and follow their lead. I’m so sorry…’ her sister says apologetically.
‘It’s to make it user-friendly. And the shape of it means it has a better fit for more intense orgasms. It’ll just hit different,’ I explain.
Charlie and the sisters stare at me. I talk about this stuff all the time, it’s my version of business talk.
‘What I’m saying is, you want it to look nice, but we have to make sure it feels nice, otherwise what’s the point? These things will get returned and people will say they don’t work,’ I clarify, holding one to the air.
‘What happens if they get returned?’ SGR asks.
