It’s the skirt. It is too short. Case in point as a budget Cyborg walks past me, nodding and smiling. I’m good, thanks. I’m looking for a sheriff. I see Cameron’s face through the crowd, hoping and praying he doesn’t think I look like a hot mess.
‘Iced tea?’ he says, stretching an arm out.
I take the bottle from Cameron and literally down it in one, burping a little under my breath.
He laughs, furrowing his brow at me. ‘You took the coat off. No Sailor Moon?’
‘No,Game of Thronesinstead,’ I say, doing a mini curtsey. ‘The look is a bit all over the place, I’m sorry, I look ridiculous. This is not my usual style.’
‘You look great. Don’t be silly. I’m dressed like a sheriff and don’t have a change of clothes. It’s likely I am going to get a lot of abuse on the train later.’
‘Everyone likes Rick Grimes, though.’
‘Do you like Rick Grimes?’
‘Of course. The whole show, if you think about it, revolves around Rick’s journey from waking up to reconnecting with—’
He stops for a moment. He wasn’t asking about the show’s storyline development, was he? He was talking about himself, in that costume. I like the costume very much. To be blunt, I’d do him in the costume, for sure. As a character, he’s growing on me.
‘I like Rick Grimes very much.’
He reaches over and kisses me, gently on the lips. This still is my new favourite thing, kissing him and having him close. I pull him in to make the moment last and as I do, the lights suddenly dim. That would be because we’ve taken all the electricity out of the place. It’s right here, in this kiss, his hand barely touching my face, his lips grazing mine.
We’re suddenly surrounded by some crazed strobe lighting from aStar Warsevent just about to start in the next room, the bass of the theme tune pulsating through the floors. Damn. I mean, if you’re going to share a kiss, then that’s the music you want to raise the cinematic quality of the moment. We both laugh.
‘Come,’ I say, breaking away. ‘I need to get some merch for two little boys I know.’
He seems willing, but as I walk away, I hear Cameron choke on his drink and then explode with laughter.
‘OK then. Maybe that outfit was kinkier than I thought,’ he says.
I swivel around. Is my skirt stuck in the thong part of my outfit? Am I showing bum cleavage? But Cameron comes up to me and moves my rucksack aside, seeming to read the back of my T-shirt and then giggling.
‘That’s a fun T-shirt.’
‘There are words on the back?’ I ask, trying to crane my head over my shoulder awkwardly like I’m a dog chasing its own tail.
‘You didn’t know there were words on the back?’ he says, bent over in hysterics. He takes his phone and takes a picture, then shows it to me.
GIVE ME 6-8 INCHES OF SNOW
‘For the love of… What the…’
I immediately drop to my feet in some sort of mushroom shape, hoping it might make me less visible. I’m going to go back to that vendor and throw this tee in his face. If I duped my buyers like this, then Trading Standards would kick my arse.
Cameron bends down to meet me as I rifle through my bag. The coat is going back on, and I don’t care if I sweat myself to death. But as I pull it out of my bag, other stuff falls out. Namely a string of condoms, about twenty of them. Josie Jewell, still ever prepared.
‘Here, try me, I never miss.’
I’m sitting on the steps outside this hotel in my weird sexy goth-geek get-up with the sheriff as I aim popcorn into his mouth. I shoot, I score. We both cheer. After my literal condom explosion when Cameron’s eyes nearly popped out of his head, I watched the realisation wash over him about how I’d completely misread this situation. Was it awkward? Oh, I wanted the ground to swallow me up, I wanted to run away from the shame, but as he helped me re-pack my bag and put on my coat, there was also a sweetness in his eyes. He didn’t think me some sex-crazed woman obsessed with Jon Snow’s length, but it was clear we had stuff to talk about. It started with a bit of fresh air and a bag of stale popcorn from a concessions stand.
‘So are you a salty or sweet person?’ I ask him.
‘I mix it up. Half and half at the cinema.’
‘Same. I sometimes pour in a box of Maltesers too.’
‘That’s genius,’ he says in genuine admiration.
