Oh, it’s Bob. I don’t come here to talk. I come to swim.
‘I’m just here for the day. It’s very nice here.’
‘It’s lovely. But I just come here for the view really,’ he says, winking at me.
Christ, Bob. No. There are laws against that. Keep your eyes to yourself. I am now debating which is the lesser of two evils here, swimming away from lecherous Bob or closer to Orlagh. I smile politely and set off, doing a slow breaststroke to the other side. Orlagh’s standing there waiting. Bob is in pursuit, possibly checking out my arse. Sod swimming. I long for the embrace of my overly chlorinated usual pool where the lifeguards look about twelve and the most drama I have is seeing a plaster float past me. When I get to the other side, I feel Orlagh’s arm graze against mine. I stand up immediately.
‘A sorry wouldn’t go amiss,’ she says, huffing.
‘You were right there, you could see me coming. Why didn’t you move?’ I reply.
Orlagh immediately looks quite miffed. ‘I don’t know what pool you usually swim at but there’s an etiquette?’
‘Etiquette? Why, do you own the pool?’
You don’t own the pool, not any more. Legally, you handed over all those rights.
‘No, but there’s a consideration one should take when coming to swim in someone else’s pool,’ she says, pointedly.
‘So it’s all right for you to swim in other pools but not other people? I think that’s called double standards. I’m not doing anything wrong.’
I realise I’ve stretched the analogy now. She stands there quietly fuming. I hear a chair slowly scraping across the floor by the restaurant and assume it’s Meg. The thing is, I’m not doing anything wrong. Sam is a free agent. This pool also allows for non-members so you keep in your lane, I’ll keep in mine and we will keep swimming. Bob has caught up with us now and stands in between us. By the way she twitches, I have a feeling he brushes up against Orlagh as he does so.
‘Oh, sorry there, Orlagh. I’ve just met your friend. Are you two girls friends?’ he asks.
Orlagh shakes her head. ‘She’s not a member, Bob. Just a visitor.’
‘I don’t know. It is lovely here, maybe I’ll sign up on a more permanent basis,’ I say. I won’t. I can’t afford this.
‘Well, the more the merrier. I’m not averse to seeing more lovely girls like yourself at the pool.’ Bob may be another reason why I won’t sign up.
‘She won’t be if she knows what’s good for her,’ Orlagh blurts out.
‘Girlies…’
‘I am sorry, Bob. I know we’ve just met but I stopped being a girly at about ten years of age. My name is Grace.’
He doesn’t know whether to glide away or stay and watch this fight. Meg has got Linh involved now and both have turned in my direction and are supping at their glasses.
‘You left him. You were the one who ended your marriage. However Sam chooses to move on is completely up to him. You know that, right?’
‘He could have hooked up with anyone in Bristol. It’s a city of thousands of people and he chooses someone at the school gate.’
‘You left him for someone ten years younger than yourself. Did you ever think how much that embarrassed or hurt him?’
‘That is none of your business. Sam is the father of my children… I have every right to know who’s in my children’s lives.’
‘Your children don’t know. My children don’t even know.’
‘Is this what you do? Just go round stealing other people’s families because you can’t have your own children?’ she asks.
My mouth is wide open like a cod, which is fitting as I’m currently in water. ‘You think I’m trying to steal your kids? What makes you think I can’t have my own children?’
‘Then why adopt?’
‘How is that any of your business?’
‘All my business if you’re trying to steal my ex-husband to father your children too.’
