BamBam studied me for a second, as if she was deciding whether or not I actually thought it was okay. She sighed and said, “Even if you and your parents are at odds, I’m still in your corner. I’m just in their corner, too. I want all my babies to thrive. When you have this much life experience, your job is to help everyone figure out how to love and respect each other, not to decide the winners and losers. Does that make sense?”
“Kind of,” I admitted after a beat of silence. “I mean, I understand all of the words but—”
“You haven’t lived long enough yet.” BamBam finished the thought for me. “That’s okay. Keep it in the back of your mind for when you get to be my age.”
“I can do that.” I grinned at BamBam as relief flooded my nervous system. She wasn’t mad at me, and she didn’t want me to be anyone other than me. My heart squeezed as I thoughtabout the last few hours. I might have cried more than I’d ever cried in my life. But I also hadn’t felt as at home and free as I did right now.
Bouncing across the couch, I threw my arms around BamBam, catching her off guard so that my weight put us sideways. As soon as she managed to right us, BamBam wrapped her arms around me. The scent of her lotion, lavender and honey, washed over me as I snuggled against her. “I’m sorry I lied to you, BamBam.”
“I’m glad you came around to being honest. That’s what matters,” BamBam said into my hair, giving me an extra squeeze before releasing me. Holding me at arm’s length she asked, “So what are you gonna do about the video?”
“I don’t know.” I sighed, letting my shoulder sink and my head drop to my chest. “Honestly, I don’t know if I can make it without Ethan. I certainly can’t submit it.”
“Tell me more,” BamBam commanded, releasing my shoulders.
“Well, for one, why would Ethan ever talk to me again? And second, because the video idea, while technically good, is a little boring.”
“Let’s deal with the technical stuff first,” BamBam said, going into her Ms. Mini Business Mode. “Why is it boring?”
“It was meant to be a love letter to Las Vegas, but it feels like a standard commercial for Las Vegas with a convention cut intoit.”
“So there’s no love story in your love letter?” BamBam said this like a question, but we both knew it was rhetorical, so Inodded and waited for her to finish her thought. Tilting her head at me, she added, “It sounds like you aren’t telling the story about Las Vegas you were meant to tell. Maybe if you solve that problem, the first one with Ethan will solve itself.”
BamBam’s words seemed to suck the air out of my lungs. Memories flooded in of all the goofy footage of Ethan waving at me. Him driving flashy cars. The random video he took of me setting up my gear at the Silver Influencers panel. Us, sweaty and lost while trying to find a sidewalk on the way to the aquarium. Ethan talking me through go-karts, or singing his old-man songs. Images of a sunset spent with one another. Neon kisses captured on camera. While I was trying to convince people to fall in love with Las Vegas, he was trying to convince me to fall in love with him.
All this time, I’d been telling the wrong love story.
“But it’s your video.” BamBam shrugged. “You do what you want.”
“BamBam, you are a genius.” My mind started to spin as a new story unfolded.
“I know.” BamBam smirked, then rocked forward, using the couch’s armrest to help herself stand up. “Now you go get your computer, and I’ll get us some cookies. You got some work to do, and I need to call Buzzy if you two are gonna be an item. I deserve a cookie for that.”
I grinned and got off the couch without so much as a word. It was time to let myself be the main character in the story. I only hoped it was a story that Ethan still wanted to tell with me.
2 Weeks Later: All Bets Are Off
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I stood in the parkinglot outside the venue for the watch party, my nerves shooting little bursts of anxiety to every part of my body as yet another pair of headlights turned into Odell’s, one of Chicago’s most popular family-friendly sports bars and restaurants. After all the conversations we’d had about cars, I didn’t actually know what kind of car Ethan drove, so I was forced to squint at each driver, keeping an eye out for his shaggy hair. This car was a blue minivan, so I didn’t bother. There was no way, even with two little sisters, that Ethan was driving a minivan. That was not a mechanic’s car.
My palms were sweaty from clutching my phone, despite the fact that it was chilly tonight. According to it, I had about eleven minutes until the event began. A corner of my brain started to panic. What if Ethan didn’t come? My whole plan would be ruined. Then again, what if he came and refused to speak to me? My plan would be equally ruined, and I’d probably be a pathetic, snot-crying mess…again.
Nope. I pushed the thought away. If it didn’t work out, then Gabby and Nittha were waiting for me inside. I’d go stand by my car and text them an SOS, and they’d take me home.
Holding my breath as another pair of headlights flashed in thewindows, I squinted at an older-model white Volvo.My heart,which had been panic beating nanoseconds before,seemed tostop cold. That was Ethan.
My mind started working in overdrive as I watched Ethan park. First debating if I was standing in a good spot—didn’t want to jump out of the shadows and terrify him. Then worrying that maybe the outfit I’d picked out with Gabby and Nittha was too plain—blue jeans and a rounded-necklined white T-shirt that was made of a supersoft fabric Ethan wouldn’t actually get to touch because I was basically drowning in a cropped pink puffy jacket. I had nearly convinced myself to shed the jacket and wait for him in the restaurant, when he got out of the car.
Slowly, Ethan moved toward me. With each step a piece of my heart chipped off. I missed his walk and the lopsided smile that often came with it. The smile wasn’t here now.
“Hey, Jamie.” Ethan stopped a few feet away from me, far enough that I couldn’t reach out and touch him. The distance made my heart ache.
“Hey.” My voice sounded smaller than I wanted it to. I’d practiced what I wanted to say to him a hundred times over the last few days. But now, with him standing here, my carefully planned speech seemed to fall out of my mind. “I didn’t know if you’d show up.”
He shrugged. “Grammy was adamant that I come. So here I am.”
Ethan pressed his lips together, glancing from me to the ground. Sighing, he gestured to the door and said, “I’m meeting Sterling, so see you in there?”
