At different points, Ethan and I stopped to take pictures of each other with the signs. Half of them were blurry because we were rushing, and at least a third of them had Ethan making silly faces at me, but it didn’t really matter. Tonight, under the glow of the lights, every picture felt perfect.
“Wait, hold still.” I pulled out my phone to take another picture of Ethan, the pinkish glow from a flashingWedding Informationsign highlighting his cheekbones and giving his normally sandy-blond hair a reddish tint. He looked at the sign, then back at me, then did an exaggerated wink at the camera.
“Switch.” Ethan waved at me to come stand where he was standing, even as the tour group started to move to the next sign. I blew a kiss at him. Ethan took the picture, then pretended to grab the kiss and smash it to his cheek.
“You’re extremely cheesy.” I laughed as we tried to catch up with the group.
“Sure, I’m cheesy. But you have to admit, I’m pretty gr-ate.” Ethan snorted as I groaned. “Get it? Because cheese is grated and—”
“Oh, I understood the pun. It was just really bad.”
“I make no apologies.”
“But you should.” I cackled. “That joke was beneath you, Grandpa.”
“My car music should have been your first clue. Proud grandpa right here.” He beamed at me and tapped his chest.
“Thank you all for joining us here. For those of you who are seeing the show, hang around for fifteen minutes, and we’ll call your group,” the guide said, interrupting our giggles long enough for the two of us to pull it together. “Until then, feel free to take pictures or visit the gift shop.”
“Come on. We have to take another picture.” Ethan nodded toward the La Concha Motel sign.
“Maybe someone from the group will—” I eyed the yard fora group that wasn’t already occupied with their own glittering neon photos, then turned back to him and shrugged.
“I have long arms.” Ethan held his arms out to demonstrate his reach. “And it doesn’t have to be perfect.”
“Alright, but when it’s blurry and we have to find someone to retake it, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.” I laughed as I walked over to his side. Ethan threw his free arm around me, and I tucked myself underneath it, snuggling against him, then smiled up at the camera.
“Three, two, one.” I felt his countdown vibrate through his chest as Ethan prepared to take the picture. After a series of screen blinks, he let his arms fall and repositioned himself slightly so we could both see the pictures. I tried to ignore the fact that my side felt cold with his absence and watched as he scrolled through a series of off-kilter photos.
“Okay, well, they’re definitely not perfect,” I said. The two of us were in frame, but the sign was crooked and half of it was missing.
“What do you mean? Everything that matters is in the picture.”
“Sure. If by ‘everything that matters’ you mean half a neon sign, then you are correct.”
Ethan stared down at the photo and then back at me, half smiling. “You’re the part that’s important to me.”
The gentle hum of neon bulbs buzzed between us as I processed exactly what he’d said.
“Ethan, I…”
I paused midsentence and tried to collect my thoughts. I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t care anymore or that we werenothing more than friends. And it was obvious he wanted something from me. I wasn’t a rebound or just some girl to make his ex jealous. If he’d gone to this much trouble to arrange tonight, it was safe to say Ethan cared about me just as much as I liked him.
In my mind, telling him how I felt was easy. But now that I was trying to do it, none of my words seemed quite right. The feel of his hand in mine came back to me. I wanted my words to feel like that memory, warm and reassuring. I reached for one of his hands, holding his fingers loosely in mine as I studied our skin. My mind whirled through a thousand phrases.
I like you.
No.
I really like you.
Still not enough.
You get me.
Bland.
Please don’t let me go.
