Seraphina pressed me gently forward. “She asked if you were back when they came in. I’m not sure where you stand with him, but I know you can buck up enough to tell your mom you’re home.”
With tough love, she pushed me into the dining room. That was how I found myself standing beside their table. They barely glanced up, thinking I was Mina, but Mom gasped when she realized it was me.
“Honey!” She reached for my hand. “I’m so happy you’re here. I asked about you.”
I glanced at Stephen, who was seated across from her. His hand rested on the table. Clearly, he’d been holding Mom’s until she reached for me.
“Have you eaten?” she asked. “We were leaving, but we can stay if you’d like.”
I shook my head. “I’ll grab something at home. I’m tired, I just wanted to find you.”
They paid their tab. Mom didn’t introduce Stephen or rave about his grand return, leading me to believe he had already explained our meeting. Something uneasy lingered between Stephen and me as he nodded in greeting. I did not know how to act around him. Honestly, he was as much a victim of circumstance as I was—I knew that—but knowing that couldn’t close the hole left in my heart from the last twenty years. Thankfully, Mom seemed unaware of our awkwardness.
We left the tavern and strolled through the park. For the first time in my life, I was unsure of how to act with Mom. When Stephen had left—disappeared—I’d known how to comfort her.This felt more complicated, like one ball of yarn tangling with another. I had to sift through my emotions to find the right one to support her.
The love of her life had returned to her with the explanation she expected. It changed nothing about how I’d grown up separated from fae society and tradition, but it also wasn’t all about me. I could be happy for her.
“Stephen said you weren’t so happy to see him,” she said. I hadn’t noticed that he’d walked ahead, leaving us the illusion of privacy.
“I’m happy for you, Mom. Everything you believed was right. Something terrible happened, and he’s been looking for you ever since.”
“He’s been looking forus, honey.” She raised a brow as if the distinction were important.
I shrugged.
“Will you be alright if he stays with us?” she asked. “It’s your home, too, and I want you to be comfortable.”
I couldn’t believe Mom was considering kicking out the male she’d waited twenty years for on account of my comfort. Then again, maybe I could—that was Mom through and through. I shook my head. “If you want to see him, which I assume you do”—I forced a smirk, but the twist of her lips said she didn’t buy it—“he’s welcome in our home.”
She patted my hand. “Thank you, honey.”
I noticed then that she wore the ring he’d shown me. How had I ended up so different from her? She loved fiercely and hoped deeply. She didn’t let fear of looking foolish get in the way of her wants. Her life was an unapologetic song screamed at the top of her lungs.
It hadn’t always been in her favor, either. She’d gone years without the male she wanted, yet still, she hadn’t given up hope. Something bloomed in my chest for her. Just as quickly, heatflooded me—embarrassment at my behavior. I, not the world, had thought her foolish for her hope.
“Mom…” I started.
She patted my hand again. “It’s alright, honey.”
She already knew what I would say, but I wouldn’t sleep well until I said it aloud. I wiped tears from my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I doubted. I just…” I picked through my feelings, trying to find the words I’d shared with Ambrose only days ago. “I just thought it would be easier to expect nothing. That maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much.”
Her smile was so soft as she pulled our slow walk to a halt. “I know, honey. I’ve always known. It was going to hurt either way. Having hope and believing in love doesn’t mean you don’t experience pain.”
“Then why do it? Why bother with the hope if the outcome is the same? Why put your life on hold for the chance of what could be?”
Her hand glided up my arm, squeezing. “I didn’t put my life on hold. That was the part I don’t think you understood. I kept living, but I never found something equal to what I felt for your father. Romantic love is one kind of love. My life was filled with fulfilling relationships. The women at the bookstore, my knitting group, and … you.” She smiled at Stephen’s back as we walked. “Your father was worth waiting for. I love him, and I knew he’d be back, but he also helped set the standard for the romantic love I wanted.”
The sparkle in her eyes had me thinking of the gold light in Ambrose’s, and I thought I might understand what she meant. There was something about Ambrose that sharpened my senses and pushed my limits, but it also showed me how far below that standard any of my past romantic partners had been.
I pushed Mom forward, knowing that even if I wasn’t ready yet, she needed this. “Go, Mom. I’ll be fine.”
Mom gave me a glance over her shoulder and must have seen some truth in my face. She took Stephen’s hand, and we walked through the park toward the apartment.
36
Evelyn
Too much had happened too fast. With everything weighing on me—my father, Ambrose, the blood magic, the job—and with no simple resolution in reach, I slept like a rock. My brain must have needed to shut down.
