He raises his eyebrows but doesn’t ask why I’m laughing.I kind of love his slight facial expressions.
“I’m just imagining you wearing a neon green shirt,” I explain.
“May I ask why?”
I shrug.“No idea.But I’m sure you’d hate it.”
“You would be correct.”
All of a sudden, I’m overcome with a pang of longing.To have more quiet mornings like this with Max.I’d say a ridiculous thing here and there—sometimes I lack a filter—and he’d arch an eyebrow and touch my leg…
I wish I’d met him before I gave up on relationships.
What a foolish thought.
I shift in my chair, and oh God, I can feel that I fucked myself good and hard because ofhim.
I shove the last bite of donut into my mouth.“It was great chatting with you, Max.”I don’t sound like myself.“I better get going.”
Back in the parking lot of the hotel, I see Jon swagger out the door with Dylan’s cousin.They’re laughing.
When I first met Max, I just wanted a simple, hot one-night stand—like the kind those two probably enjoyed—and now I’m wishing I was interested in relationships again, for the first time in years.That man has me all mixed up.
He should have stood up for you, Max said.
But would Max Mok actually be different?Like I told him, it wasn’t just one bad experience that made me swear off dating; it was a bunch of them.Every single long-term relationship I’ve had.
As I pull onto the 401, windows rolled down because of my busted a/c, I remind myself that I don’t want to bend and shrink myself to what some man and his family want.I’ve never benefited, emotionally, from a relationship; they’ve always come at a cost for me, at least beyond the first few months.Honestly, the main things relationships have given me are regular sex and someone to reach food on high shelves.
It’s silly to do something again and again, expecting it to yield it different results, when it’s always done the same thing in the past.Yet I did that for years because I thought a romantic relationship could fulfill me.Because some part of me longed for that kind of connection.
The other day, I read an article about women being happier than men after divorce, which didn’t surprise me one bit.I’m glad I figured that shit out before I shackled myself to a guy.
Nope, Max is dangerous and I shouldn’t get involved.
But despite myself, I smile at the thought of seeing him at the next wedding.
Chapter 13
Max
WhenMalcolmtextedmeand asked if I wanted to grab a drink, I suggested we have lunch instead.Alcohol has lost its appeal after Mirabel and Dylan’s wedding.
So, the following Saturday afternoon, we meet at a patio for fried chicken and mac and cheese au gratin.Malcolm also orders a dark ’n stormy, but I stick with water.
Once he’s finished regaling me with stories about his honeymoon in France, he says, “You’ve been quieter than normal.Anything new?”
“Not much,” I say.“Work.The usual.”
“You had another wedding to go to, didn’t you?”
“My cousin’s.”I don’t feel like adding more.
Malcolm leans forward.“I heard a little rumor that you left with Kim Sung at our wedding?”
I tense when I hear her name.“We did not leave together.”
“But you were seen exiting her room just after midnight.”
