"You told her you loved her. Good. But you also told her she had three hours to throw away her entire life or lose you forever. That's not love. That's a test."
"I had to know if she'd choose me."
"In three hours? While she was still reeling from almost dying? While she had no idea if what you were offering was real or just adrenaline?" Neils eyes were sad. "You told her you loved her, but you didn't give her time to figure out what that meant. You made her choose between you and everything she'd ever known, and you gave her no room to be scared."
The words landed like punches.
"What was I supposed to do? Wait around while she convinced herself we were just a fling?"
"You were supposed to be patient. You were supposed to tell her you loved her and that you'd wait while she figured out how to choose you properly. You were supposed to fight for her by giving her space to fight for herself first."
"That's not—"
"You were terrified she'd leave," Neil continued, relentless. "So terrified that you set up a test you knew she might fail. So you could walk away first. So you could control the rejection."
I wanted to argue. Wanted to tell him he was wrong.
But he wasn't.
I'd told Jess I loved her. But I'd made that love conditional on her being brave enough to burn her entire life down in three hours. I'd asked her to prove she loved me by taking a leap I wasn't willing to take myself—the leap of faith, of patience, of trusting that love was enough without immediate proof.
"I fucked up," I said quietly.
"Spectacularly." Neil's expression softened. "But you get one more chance. Question is: are you brave enough to take it?"
"How?"
"By going to her. By telling her you were wrong about the timeline. That you love her—still love her—and you'll wait while she figures out how to save herself. That she doesn't have to choose between her life and you because you're strong enough to compromise."
"What if she tells me to fuck off?"
"Then you'll survive. But at least you'll have actually fought for her instead of just testing her." He started toward his truck. "Brothers' meeting tomorrow night. Be there."
He left me standing there with my rifle and my rage and the slowly dawning realization of what I'd done.
Chapter 10
Jess
I sat in my apartment at three in the morning, staring at the partnership offer on my coffee table like it might suddenly sprout fangs and bite me. Maybe it should. It would be less painful than what it was actually doing to me.
My laptop glowed in the darkness, seventeen tabs open because apparently I dealt with life-altering decisions the way I dealt with legal research—by drowning myself in information until I couldn't feel anything anymore.
Except I could feel everything. That was the problem.
I felt the ache in my chest that hadn't gone away since I'd watched Sam's face go cold when I told him I had to go back. I felt the panic that had been my constant companion for three weeks, getting worse instead of better. I felt the bone-deep exhaustion of trying to convince myself I'd made the right choice when every cell in my body screamed that I'd made the worst mistake of my life.
And under that emptiness, there was a desperate, clawing need to run. To get in my car and drive north until I hit mountains and clean air and a man who'd claimed me as his.
I opened a new browser tab, my fingers shaking as I typed:cost of living Burke Vermont
Then another:breaking apartment lease penalties
Another:remote legal consulting
I wasn't planning anything. I was just... looking. Just seeing what it would take to blow up my entire life and start over. Justtorturing myself with possibilities I was too scared to actually choose.
Except I wasn't too scared anymore, was I?
