As the credits roll, he lifts his head from my shoulder and releases a yawn.
“Time for bed,” I tell him. “It’s been a long day.”
He groans, but his tired eyes betray him.
“If you go to bed now, we can have another guitar lesson in the morning,” Ruby offers.
Her presence is the only reason I’m still holding myself together. I don’t know what I would’ve done if she hadn’t been here. I’m starting to lean on her more for support, and that realization is terrifying.
I’m not used to needing anybody.
“Really?” Aiden says.
“Mhm. Pinky promise.” Aiden holds up his finger between them and wraps it around Ruby’s. She is such a natural with Aiden, and the sweet gesture sends a spark of longing straight to my battered heart.
When she lets go, he practically throws himself at her, wrapping her in a tight hug. She cradles the back of his head and breathes him in.
“Love you,” he says.
Her brows draw together in surprise, and her eyes fill with tender affection. She kisses his temple. “I love you, too.”
There’s no hesitation. No pretense. She just told my son she loves him and she meant it.
Fuck.
Aiden gathers his dinosaur and blanket, then stands on the sofa. I grab him with one arm and hoist him over my shoulder. He laughs at the unexpected position as I jog down the hallway to his bedroom. Ruby’s laughter follows us all the way down the hall. That sound is better than any drug.
I set Aiden at the foot of his bed and pull back his comforter. He’s already in his pajamas from movie night, so it’s an easy transition to bedtime. He quickly checks on Jerry, who’s fast asleep—not dead—in the corner of his enclosure. Satisfied, Aiden settles himself beneath the covers, and I sit on the edge of his bed near his legs.
I smooth a hand over his head, ignoring the pang of sadness that hits me. He’s growing up too damn fast. I wish I could say his age makes him ignorant of all the pain and suffering the world has to offer, but he’s seen enough of it in his short time, too. We’re kindred spirits in a way, but I’ve done my best to ease the hurt Bree left behind.
“You feeling ok after everything?” I ask, keeping my question vague. I don’t want to get too specific in case it triggers something.
He nods and hugs Rex a little tighter.
“Ok, buddy. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I lean over and kiss his head. How many more times will I be allowed to do that before he insists he’s too grown up for his dad’s affection? I’ve missed so many of his milestones that the ones we have left always come with a bittersweet tang.
I start to stand, but Aiden’s quiet voice stops me. “Dad?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Is Ruby your girlfriend?”
I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, so I never brought it up. Now seems like as good a time as any. “Yes. We’ve been together for a little while now.”
“Could she be my mom someday?”
His question is arresting—not because I haven’t thought about it, but because Ihave.I’ve thought about having a family with Ruby far more often than I’m willing to admit to myself. Seeing how much Aiden has opened up to her, and how much she cares for him in return, has consumed my wakinghours since the moment she snagged those baby carrots from the produce aisle.
“Ruby is special, and she loves you very much, but that’s not something I can answer for her right now.”
“Do you… love her?” he asks.
Ishouldlie, but I don’t. “Yes.”
