“Ben—” Paige, behind me, pulls at my elbow like she wants to check the damage and hide me at the same time.
Jason’s chest is rising and falling like he just sprinted the length of the block. His eyes move for the first time to Paige’s hand on me. Whatever was left of his restraint fractures.
“Get away from him,” he says to her, dead flat.
“Jason, I—”
“Now.”
She pulls her hand back like she’s been burned. I want to tell her not to. I want to take her hand again. I do neither.
“Jason.” My voice feels like gravel. “Look at me.”
He does, and I almost wish he wouldn’t. There’s that look again, the one that says you didn’t just break a rule, you broke me. Broke us.
“How could you,” he says, and it’s quieter, which is worse.
“I should have told you,” I say. Every word is a swallow of glass. “I should have talked to you before anything happened.”
“No,” he snaps. “It shouldn’t have happened at all.” He swipes a hand over his mouth like he’s trying to wipe it all away. “Jesus, Ben.”
I take it. Every word. Every look. I take it and don’t move. “It’s on me,” I say. “It’s me. Not Paige.”
His head jerks at that. He looks at her, finally, like he forgot she was here and just remembered too much all at once. “Is that true?” he asks her, and the contempt in his tone turns my stomach.
“No,” she says, firming up, finding steel. “It’s not true.”
“Pai—” I start.
“No,” she snaps. “This is just as much on me as it is on him.”
“Jase,” I push, trying to drag his attention back to me, away from unloading on her. “Don’t talk to her like that.”
He rounds on me, half a step like he might swing again. I don’t flinch. If he thinks I’m scared of him, I lose him. If he thinks I’m not sorry, I lose him. There’s no good branch to crawl out on here. It’s all rotten.
“Don’t talk to her like that?” he says, angry. “Who?My sister? Who the hell do you think you are?”
“You say whatever you want to me, hit me again, but don’t bring Paige into this,” I say.
He laughs, almost manically. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he says, his voice climbing, “but she’s already in this! Maybe you forgot that you were just sucking face with her!”
“It’s not like that,” I say, trying to stay calm. My eye is throbbing like a bitch.
“No, it’sexactlylike that,” he says. “And you know it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been avoiding me. You think I didn’t notice? Texts about being busy. Can’t talk. Later, later, later. Now I know why.” He barks a laugh that isn’t a laugh. “Every time I asked you what was wrong, you looked me in the face and lied.”
“I didn’t—” I start.
“You did.” That calm again, lethal. “And you, Paige?” He finally turns fully toward her.
She lifts her chin like a goddamn queen, even with color still high in her cheeks and her lips kiss-swollen. “What happened to ‘it’s complicated, Jay’?” he throws back in a mocking version of her voice. “No, it’s simple. You two are—”
“Stop,” I snap, because he’s about to say something he can’t take back, and I will not let him. “You say whatever the hell you want to me, but don’t you dare talk to her like that.”
“Like what?” He steps into me again, and this time I shift just enough to keep my body between them. “Like she’s my sister and you’re—what are you, Ben? Huh? What are you?”
He wants to label it, but I won’t give him the satisfaction.
“I handled it badly,” I say. “We should have come to you and told you. I’m sorry.”
