15
Percy
It’s the not knowing but already feeling that he’s guilty that’s tearing me apart. Tammy Sue, thank God, has run the front of the house all day, so I didn’t have to do anything but what I have always considered therapy. Baking has always been my happy place, and now, not even it has made me feel better today.
Ben… What the fuck? Did you really have to fuck me and make me feel so… Why? Are you still a wolf in sheep's clothing? I didn’t need an answer to that. I think I already had it. Whether he meant to or not, he had destroyed me once again.
But the way he touched me. The things he said that sounded so real… It couldn’t have been a lie. I wasn’t a fucking fool! I may have fallen into his bed easily because we have a past that neither one of us seemed to be able to forget, but… Last night had to be real. If not, he was even worse than he used to be. That meant he wasn’t just ruthless. He was heartless.
I believed him. That part, anyway. But what, if anything, does that really mean?
Nothing.
It meant nothing if he was really here to destroy my livelihood. It couldn’t. Could it?
God, I was a fucking hot mess. Flour was strewn everywhere because I had been like this all day. I had burned things and almost put salt in when I meant to put in sugar. A rookie mistake that someone like me should not have…
I had to know what the truth was, no matter how much it might hurt. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to revel in what I thought we had.
Could I? Could I let it go if Evelyn was right, and that was why he was here? Not once did he ever mention anything about it to me. Not once. I was driving myself crazy back here. I made the same batch of cookies twice, and…
Baking and thinking about Ben and the shit show that had become my life in less than twenty-four hours was not a healthy way to live. I believed him, and that had to mean something. But if it were true… Why did he really come back here after all this time?
If it were me, I would be happy about that; even if it were a little stalky, I could deal with it. But it hadn’t been me. The way he looked at me as if he were as surprised as I was… How did he know that I was a Michelin-star chef? Someone had told him. Nancy, his mother? Maybe. I had seen her here, and that would make sense. But…
It wasn’t Nancy.
I knew in my heart how he heard that I was here. Someone, one of the other owners, had told him. But why did he never mention it to me? I mean, I hated it. But it was his job, right? We all do what we have to do for our jobs. His was just gross right now. But…
Why didn’t he tell me?
Why would he lie?
“That’s almost it. Another ten minutes and I am sending you home, and I don’t want to hear any lip about it.” Tammy Sue barged in and laid down her demands. I was in no shape to argue with her.
“I… uh… have a cake in the oven.” My feet felt so fucking heavy.
“I’ll put it in the cooler and clean up. You need to not be here right now.” She walked over and slid her arm around my waist.
“Agreed. I…”
“I know, Perce.”
“Thank you.” I kissed her cheek.
“You are the great and mighty Perseus Armstrong. Don’t forget that and lose yourself in this. You are strong and powerful and do not need anybody else, except for your trusty sidekick, to get through anything. Besides, we don’t really know the truth.”
“I think we do, babe.”
“I’m sorry.” She kissed the top of my head.
“I don’t know what’s worse. If I’m mad at him for not telling me or grateful for the moment.”
“You deserve more than just a moment.”
“Maybe that’s all it was ever supposed to be. Maybe that’s why I didn’t know the truth until now. The universe had a plan to shit all over me.”
“Tell me the truth, did you even think for a moment that it might be the reason he was here?”
