Nothing would stop me.
12
Ben
“Seriously, this is where you brought us?” Percy chuckled as he glanced around to see if anyone else was here on Lover’s Butte with us.
“I’ve always enjoyed the view.” I stretched my arms and was about to try sliding one over in a classic high school move when he shifted.
“I’ve never been here before. I mean, not really. I came up here during the day every now and then to park before taking a hike. But… It’s really pretty – all the lights. God, I haven’t even thought of this place since I left.”
“Believe it or not, I never brought anyone up here either. The… uh… person I would have wanted to bring was… Well, I was being an asshole.” I stuck out my bottom lip, reverting to the child u used to be when we were last in this situation.
“This is all…” He turned to me. “I mean, seriously, Ben, I just don’t understand. That was fourteen years ago… a little more, actually, and you still…”
“I do. I never stopped, I guess.” I reached over and tentatively took his hand in mine. “I just wish I could go back in time and… fix everything. All the years I missed out on because I was too weak. Do you know how… Have you ever gone to therapy?”
“Baking has always been my therapy.” That made sense.
“Well, in therapy, they ask you to write a letter to your younger self. My letter was more about you than it ever was me, and I had to rewrite it again. I turned in the second letter, and it was also about you once again. What I said to myself was to tell you how I felt, to remember that, and to put those feelings first. When high school was over, it wasn’t the trophies or championships – not the stupid ass prom king thing that mattered. It was what I let go of instead of what I chose. The choice I made was the wrong one.”
“Jesus… I… That’s nice. Thank you for that.” He pulled his hand slowly from mine. “I’ve just been mad at you for so long, and here you waltz back into town with pretty words and yourfuckingpretty face, and I feel so… It’s like I’m in a bizarro world. Up is down, and left is right, and I’m stuck in between trying to understand what is and isn’t real.”
“You still think I have a pretty face?” I grinned, and he looked down. “Ask me.”
“What?” He glanced back at me.
“Ask me what is and isn’t real.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You back here in town?”
“Real. Come on; you’re not even trying.”
“What if the answers scare me?”
I reached over and took his hand again. “You could run away, but I think I would just follow.”
“You always having a crush on me?”
“True.” I squeezed gently.
“That kiss?”
I let my thumb circle the top of his hand. “The truest thing I know right now.”
“You want to kiss me again?”
“Veryfuckingtrue,” I said huskily.
“Is this just a… I’m here, and you’re here, so why not kind of thing?”
“False. I don’t know what the future holds, Percy. But I hope to read the book to find out the ending.”
“You can read?” He chuckled.
“Smart ass.”
“It is nice up here. Very pretty. I don’t think there is a coffee shop, though.”
