“You don’t kiss your stalker.”
“I am totally fucked, aren’t I.”
She laughed. “Probably so. He loves that bakery, Ben. If he finds out about you from someone else, it would be bad. I mean, I’d be pissed if I were him. You need to tell him the truth if you… you know.”
“I know. And I will when the time is right.” I had to. Mom was right. I couldn’t walk away from him without trying. To try meant I had to be truthful.
“And you will reconsider what you’re doing? I really think you should look for something else. You wanted to design, and that’s not really what you’re doing, is it?”
“I will think about it. Promise.”
“I love you, hon. I also really like you being home.”
“Honestly, I do, too.” It was nice to really mean it.
11
Ben
Why did I feel like a stupid teenager again? Honestly, this was completely unnatural.
Yes – I had thought about him.
Yes – I had wondered what he was doing and how he was doing.
Yes – I had a lot of regrets about what happened between us.
Yes – I had thought about him more often than I liked to admit.
What was it about your first crush that stayed under your skin and at your very core – your essence? I know I wasn’t the only one. Other friends of mine had dealt with the same thing. I mean, it’s an entire trope in movies. Someone returns to their hometown to go to their high school reunion, and romance rekindles after twenty years because it has never really gone away. This was the same thing.
I was living in a Vince Vaughn movie. It was humiliating.
I had a great life and a great job that I actually enjoyed most of the time. Was it fulfilling? No, but I really liked the travel and the money. I didn’t mind the work.
Not true. Why was I lying to myself? I had been lying to myself for too long. Another lie for the great Ben!
I was minding this work, which might explain why I wasn’t really trying. I told the acquisitions department that I hadn’t been able to accomplish anything on the ground, and they were sending out a last offer with a ten percent increase, which was actually a lot of money. Some would cave and sell. Others, like Percy, would not.
I needed to tell him the truth, but I didn’t want to ruin everything. What we had was tentative and could fall apart too easily.
I wanted him, and it wasn’t just a ghost of our past. The moment I saw him again, it all flooded back.
And fuck… That kiss. My toes fucking curled as my tongue pressed against his – the way his hand reached up and grabbed my hair. The need we both had bursting out of us. This wasn’t closure – it couldn’t be. It was rebirth, and I would not ruin that for anything.
How could someone you haven’t seen in ten years make you think about throwing your life away to start all over again, as long as he would be a part of it? It was stupid. But it was also right.
I just didn’t know how to tell him.
I opened the door to the bakery right before they were about to close and shut it quietly behind me.
“You what? You kissed him.” Tammy Sue was never known for subtlety, and her voice carried. Percy was talking about me.
“I… Well, he kissed me, and I kissed him back, and…”
“Did you cream your jeans? I bet you totally jizzed all in them.”
“I did not! But I did have to hide my erection as I ran away like a total spaz. I am so uncool.” I had never felt so cool in my entire life.
