“Like this.” Before I knew what was even happening, his lips were on mine, and his arms circled around my waist, pulling me tightly against his hard body. My hands reached up and grabbed him by the back of the hair as I opened my mouth, and his tongue slid against mine hungrily. His breath was so hot as I bent my neck back and gave myself over to the hunger I felt and had always felt, even through the fear and angsty longing of our twisted past.
The ground beneath me dropped away, and only his arms encircled me, holding me firmly in place. His body against mine and my hand entwined in his hair as he…
I shoved him backward, and without another word or glance back, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me out.
It was too much, and I wanted it too badly. He was visiting, and I lived here. What could come of this but another sad moment with him? I didn’t wantthat, even if I did wanthim.
I ran back to the bakery and locked the door behind me. I spent the next four hours baking pastries. But all I could think about was how hot his lips and breath were and how my skin tingled as he held me.
Being a coward was my only chance for survival.
10
Ben
“It’s really nice having you back home, Ben. You should do this more often.” Mom was happier than I had seen her in a long time, and that made me feel hella guilty.
“It’s been… nicer than I thought it’d be.” I was still surprised at how much I had actually enjoyed being here.
She kissed my cheek. “You’ve always been so cagey about coming back here. I swear, the moment you drove off for college, it’s been like pulling teeth to get you to visit.”
“I know. I plan on changing that. I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult about it.”
She ran her hands through my black curls. Hers was now peppered with gray. “You could have stayed here, you know?”
“Mom, I don’t think I would fit so well in that old twin bed anymore. Besides, I have a good job, and they’re paying for me to stay at the inn.”
“He’s such a nice guy. He’s really made that place so much better since he took it over. He’s gay too, you know? Pints n’ Pool has a great burger than your father loves.”
“Mom, stop.” I laughed happily. “You are always trying to tell me about the plethora of gay men in the Basin. I’m good. But I will say that I have seen a lot since coming home. Things change.”
“Your old friend moved back from France. I know that you guys weren’t… Well, he stopped coming around when you all were in high school. But he’s such a nice guy. So handsome with that red hair and those blue eyes.”
“Mom, seriously, stop.” I laughed loudly. “I saw Percy.”
“Percy… He’s a chef and was trained in France. His mom was so proud. I’m glad that he came back to take over the bakery. That place has been here for as long as I can remember. You used to love to go in and get a red velvet cupcake. You’d cry if we wouldn’t take you.”
“Oh my God!” I shook my head. Things never changed. “I was like six. I cried at everything.”
“Then I never saw you cry again. You went from like ten to forty overnight,” she said sadly and ruffled my hair before turning away. “You were such a strong person. I never had to worry about you. If we had known…”
“No one knew, Mom. That’s why it’s called being in the closet.” My choices had left a wake of victims behind in its path. It hurt knowing that it was my own mother. She hadn’t deserved that.
“I know that!” she playfully swatted at my arm. “Do you like it? I’ve never made it before, but it looked really easy when Rachel Ray did it.”
“It’s… good,” I lied.
“It’s too dry. Hers came out all creamy. This looks like a crumbly mess.” Her warm laugh filled me.
“It’s not bad. It could definitely be creamier.”
“I don’t know how you survived with me feeding you,” she giggled. “I was a horrible cook.”
“You still are. But somehow, I survived, and honestly, I think we ate out much more than you remember.”
“I don’t like that they sent you back here,” she said vehemently.
“It’s the way business works, Mom. If you have the connections, they send you.”
