Kenny was everywhere.
I drove into town and passed by The Hardin Drive-In, home to the best burger I had ever eaten. Kenny and I used to walk down here after my practices and gorge ourselves on a quarter pound of fresh beef and as many pickles as they could fit on top as we drank a thick peanut butter milkshake and talked about what life might be like when we left Hardin behind us.
I had no idea where he was now. I was sure that he would be here for Coach’s retirement shindig. Kenny and his father were very close, and I knew he wouldn’t miss it. Coach was one of the few people I still spoke to every so often, but he knew that the wound between Kenny and me was still raw. We never spoke about him – I never asked, even though I wanted to know. The truth was, I was afraid that he had met someone else and was living the life he should have been living with me.
I pulled onto Main Street and sighed. Very little had changed in town. It hadn’t changed much since I was a little kid. The same businesses set in the same storefronts, and the people inside the store were probably the same people who had always been there, too. It was oddly comforting.
The trip home had been an easy one. The direct flight into Nashville was on time, and first-class was almost empty. It had been nice having space for myself to spread out. I dreaded the rental car line, but one of their staff pulled me out of line – celebrity – and the keys were in my hand a few minutes later. Driving to Hardin helped me decompress a little. It was a two-hour drive and afforded me a few moments to screw my head on straight and prepare for what was inevitable – being face to face with the man I had never been able to stop thinking about.
I stopped and parked my jeep on the street in front of Mom’s house. I grabbed my large duffel from the back seat and climbed the stairs to her front porch. I knocked. It felt weird to knock, but even though I owned the house, it wasn’t my home – not really.
The door flew open, and there she stood, grinning like she had just won the damn lottery.
“Jax, baby!” I sunk into her embrace. “I can’t believe you’re home!”
“Love you, Mom.” I held her tightly and smelled the tea tree shampoo she had always used.
“Oh, baby, I love you too. You must be exhausted.” I let her go, and she held the door open for me. “You want something to eat, hon?”
I dropped my duffle at the foot of the stairs and followed her into the living room. Mom may have let me buy her a new house, but the things that filled the inside were the things of memory.
“I made chicken divan. I know that’s your favorite.”
“I ate on the plane, but… I mean, if you went to all that trouble, I guess I could have a late lunch.” I sat down on the old antique couch where Kenny and I used to cuddle.
“If you’re not hungry, babe, it will be there when you’re ready. Besides, I thought we could go out to Harkin’s Barbecue tonight. You always say that LA has some shitty barbecue.” She fluttered around the living room, picking up her knitting and yarn. She always had a ton of projects in various stages now that she didn’t have to work any longer.
“That sounds good.” I sighed.
“So, what’s the news, babe? Did you get released to play next season? I have been worrying myself to death about your shoulder.” She threw all of the yarn into a basket that was set under the main window.
“Well, that’s…” I sighed heavily. I didn’t want this trip to be about that. There would be time to deal with my unemployment soon enough. “Not yet. Still waiting on a few things,” I lied and instantly regretted it.
“Well, the team really needed you badly this year. That Johnson can’t throw a curveball for shit and don’t even get me started on that Brown kid. Why do they ask him to throw a sinker? They go bad every time. I know the pitching staff wants you back out there.”
“Well, they’ll have to figure something out. What time do you want to go?” I tried to change the subject. “I’d like to shower and change clothes. I didn’t bring much with me since I have all of my old stuff here.”
“Let’s hope that jacket still fits.” She chuckled. “You’re a lot broader than you were in high school, Jax.”
“I have not gotten fat,” I snorted. “Maybe a little softer since I couldn’t work out much.” I stretched, and my back popped.
Mom cackled. “I didn’t say you got fat. You’re more muscular than you were when you were a teenager. That jacket I pulled out for Harry’s retirement party might not fit you anymore. We really should clean it. It’s been sitting in a closet for years. Shit, I’m surprised it hadn’t gotten eaten by moths. Are you sure you want to wear your letterman jacket?”
“Yeah. I think it’s a good tribute to Coach. Do we have time? Maybe we should drop it off at the Court Square Cleaners?” It should still fit. It had been big on me at the time.
“I bet it smells like a teenage boy too. You never did want to clean it.” The look on her face made me grin.
“I was afraid it would affect our winning streak if I got it cleaned.”
“Why are all jocks so damn superstitious? Well, I can’t attest to how bad it smells because I don’t have a death wish. I can drop it off in the morning for you if we need to.”
“Let’s clean it if you don’t mind. I bet it does smell pretty bad.” I grimaced, knowing that the funk from my teenage years was probably a smell that no one could ever get rid of.
“I bet Coach Criss is excited to see you. He knows you’re coming, right?”
“I guess. Honestly, I can’t believe he’s actually retiring – and if this is supposed to be a surprise, Principal Woodenhall didn’t say. It’s not like I can hide very easily.”
“True.” She giggled. “I know. I never thought he would retire, either. They’re going to have a hard time replacing him, too, I bet. Even with our winning records and state championships, it takes a special kind of person to agree to move to such a small town where everyone knows your business.”
