“Can’t you get milkshakes in LA?”
“Not peanut butter ones. The only place that I’ve found a peanut butter milkshake has blended peanuts in it. It’s not the same – not all creamy and gooey, and…” He took a sip, and his eyes rolled back in his head as he moaned.
“Jesus, that sounds orgasmic.”
“Oh, I think you remember those sounds.” He chortled. He wasn’t wrong. His moans were like a symphony that I would never forget. “This is so fucking good.”
“You’re as weird as ever,” I teased. My ability to flirt had been hampered by years of unuse.
“Hey! When it comes to the perfect milkshake, there are no limits. God, I’ve missed this place. Is that weird? It’s weird.” He sucked hard and long on his straw. I wanted to poke my finger in his cheek dimples.
“I’ve already said you’re weird, so yeah. But…” I shrugged and took a sip of my own milkshake. He wasn’t wrong about how good they were. No milkshake anywhere else could compare to the memories of the ones here.
“I don’t think you can understand what it… I mean, I know you went away, too, but you were still a few hours away and came home fairly often. To me, it’s…” He shrugged and leaned into the table. “I’ve been gone away for a long time. Not even visiting in the last three years, and… It feels really good to be back home.”
“This is home?” I needed to stop getting my hopes up about the two of ever… you know… but he kept surprising me.
He grinned and glanced around the place. “Yeah. I think it always has been.”
“But you have to go back to your life – and that’s not really here, is it?”
His eyes narrowed. “No… But… Well, there are things that… Can we talk about this some other time? I don’t want to get all maudlin and shit. I just want to enjoy being here and drinking this milkshake and staring at you.”
Careful. Don’t get your fucking hopes up. “Really?”
“It’s a nice view.” Damn – talk about dripping with innuendo.
I took a deep breath and cocked my head to the left as I stared at his handsome face. Those stupid dark curls of his that always framed his handsome face like an angel. “So, are we moving forward? I think if we are…”
“Dude. Seriously, I think we seem to be doing ok.” He snorted.
“Can I say something then?”
He sighed heavily and sat back in his chair before crossing his thickly muscled arms. His biceps made me catch my breath. Jax had always been a muscly jock, but after going into the majors, he was in a new league of sexy, and it wasnotbeing lost on me. The semi I was currently packing was proof of how much this asshole still did it for me.
“What?” His smirk made me want to jump over the table and bite his bottom lip.
“I feel like- If we’re going to try to be friends or something…”
“Or something?” Jesus, he was killing me. He really was laying it on thick. What I needed to know was if he meant it.
“Jax, you have to let me talk about the… about what happened.”
“Oh, you mean when you decided our future for us?”
“Ok, so maybe we really do need to talk about it?”
He rolled his eyes and bit his bottom lip. He always had beautiful full lips, and I would do anything to feel them press against mine right now.
“I’m tired of being angry and mad and resentful, Kenny. Honestly, I’ve missed you so much that… You did that, you know, and it’s over – it happened. What’s the point in dwelling on it now, I... It’s nice to sit here in front of you and just… be with you again.” He leaned forward and reached across the table. His hand rested on top of mine, and I melted forward. “I didn’t think I… I was still holding a lot in when I drove into town. But seeing you, Kenny... Seeing you half-assed naked in that dressing room and spending last night getting reacquainted, it… I don’t know how to explain it. Something broke. No, that’s not right. Something got put back together. I have really missed you. You were the only one that… Shit…” His chuckle made me smile.
“I’ve missed you too. I really thought that I was doing the right thing for you. I was scared that if you came out – or, even if we didn’t actually come out but stayed together, that it would wind up hurting you in the long run. I didn’t want to be the reason that you didn’t get everything you wanted. I couldn’t have handled it – if your dream was lost because of me. But walking away from you was the hardest and, most definitely, the stupidest thing I ever did. I’m sorry.”
He nodded slowly. “Are you done now?”
“With my apology? I mean, I am if you accept it.” I was practically begging him to say yes. Pleading with him to not hold the past against me any longer. I needed to hear him say it, so I could let go myself.
“You have always been too concerned about what other people would think. I know you broke up with me because of some noble, bullshit kind of intention. But it didn’t make losing you any easier. Why didn’t you ever answer my calls?”
