“I’m fine. Just fuck me. I’m still stretched out from this morning.” And it’s true. He took his time with me this morning too. Took me apart so slowly. Kissed every inch of me. He worshipped me. Nope. Can’t think about that. “Please. Hard,” I say.
I feel his hesitance, but thankfully, he doesn’t argue. His cock starts to push into me, though he’s going slow. Taking it easy, letting me feel every hard inch of him as he spears into me.
But once he bottoms out and I reach a hand back to hold onto his hip, digging my fingers into him, he seems to realize I won’t break, and finally, his resolve snaps. He pulls almost all the way out and then slams back into me, nearly stealing my breath and making me gasp.
“Yes. Finally fucking yes,” I say, and it feels so good. Every single thrust into me sends me to a new height of pleasure. My balls are already full and begging for release, and I reach between the shower wall and my body, grabbing my cock and stroking desperately as he fucks me hard.
I push back against him, taking every single punishing stroke. Needing it. Wanting to feel how feral I make him. He bites and licks my neck as he pounds into me, and when he nails my prostate, I’m a goner. I spray the shower wall with my cum, crying out and squeezing around him, wanting to keep him inside me forever.
He tenses and bites my earlobe when he comes inside me, then blankets my body with his.
“Goddamn, that was good,” he whispers harshly into my ear.
It always is.
Fuck me. I hate that it didn’t save my heart at all. It’s the same with him, no matter if it’s fast or slow.
My heart is never going to make it through this.
TWENTY-NINE
It takes four days to get to my college campus. And it didn’t take nearly long enough. I’m not ready to let him go yet. Of course, I know I never will be, but that’s beside the point.
Still, he’s agreed to stay two days here with me. We got a hotel room because I can’t officially move into the dorms until tomorrow, and I have a roommate—yay, me. But I doubt they want my boyfriend staying the night.
Our hotel is close to the campus though, so we walk all over it. Looking at the tall buildings where I’ll be attending class, and somehow, even though classes don’t start for a couple of days, it’s fairly crowded.
It takes a minute for me to get used to it here, having been on the farm all summer. I keep expecting to hear a chicken or a cow, but nope. Just people. And cars. I know Jasper is trying to enjoy himself, and he asks a lot of questions and seems interested, but it’s clear he doesn’t love it here.
He could never love it here.
He’d be miserable if I asked him to stay. So I do my best to just enjoy our time together as the hours and minutes tick byuntil I’m driving him to the airport. I promised myself I won’t beg him to stay.
I had to bite my tongue all morning, but it didn’t stop me from wishing he’d ask me to go. Because even though this is my dream, this is what I’ve worked for, what I’ve fought my parents for, I’d give it up in an instant.
I know I would.
I could find a way to be happy in Kensley. Maybe I could go to community college with Millie. I can travel here and there and then come back...
“Don’t,” Jasper says softly, his hand squeezing mine. I look up at him, seeing his sad smile and watery eyes as we stand outside of security.
“Stay,” I say, my throat dry and my voice cracking.
He lets go of my hand but then wraps his big arms around me. “You know I can’t.”
I nod, hugging him tighter and resting my head on his shoulder. “Then ask me to go.”
“I can’t,” he says again, his voice so broken, it nearly kills me. Tears well up in my eyes as I cling to him. “If I stay, it wouldn’t work. How could we make it work?”
I think he wants an answer. A good one and one I don’t have because I know in my gut it never could. There’s just no way he could be happy here. “We could find you a farm to work on. I’ll go to college for four years, and you can work on a farm, and we can be together.”
It sounds like a lie, even on my own lips. He wouldn’t be happy. “I would, Emerson,” he breathes, and his hand smooths down over my back. “But my parents and Logan..” he starts but doesn’t go on, and I squeeze my eyes shut tight because I know that.
“I could get a job too, and we can send them money,” I try.
“I can’t, Emerson,” he says softly.
“Then let’s just go. We’ll drive back to Kensley. I’ll go to college there and come home to you at night—” He pulls back enough to put one finger over my lips and shakes his head.
