“Okay, Mom. Thank you,” I manage when she stops talking.
“I’m proud of you, Emerson.” That sentence is one I never thought I’d hear from her, and I don’t really know what to say.
“You should come to Kensley before I leave. See me off,” I blurt out.
“Oh...” she stumbles over the simple word. “I’m not sure about that. I... I put Kensley behind me.”
“And then you sent your only son here.”
“I’ve gotten everything I ever could from that town, Emerson.” There’s that sharp tone I’m used to.
She’s shutting me down, and I know she won’t be making the trip. Fine by me. I’m almost free.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” she says. “Send you all the details.”
I have no doubt I won’t actually hear her voice for a while, but I don’t push it and thank her again before I hang up.
I drop my phone next to me and look at Jasper.
He’s forcing a smile—it’s not even close to his real one. “So..” he starts. “California, huh?”
I nod numbly in answer. The whole thing not really feeling real.
California.
Not Kensley.
TWENTY-SIX
“Yeah,” he answers me, looking a little dazed.
I want to be happy for him. I am happy for him. Sort of. But California? Could he have picked anywhere further away? Though he is a traveler, so I guess he could have.
My heart aches as I force a smile. “Congratulations. That’s what you wanted.”
He nods solemnly but doesn’t look all that happy, and I’m worried it’s because I’m not pulling off the wholehappy for youthing enough.
“Hey,” I say, moving in to grip his face between my hands. “This is good. This is your dream. One step closer to traveling the world and being independent from your parents.”
“Yeah,” he says, his voice breaking. “But . . .”
I don’t let him say it. I know what thatbutis, and I can’t let him ruin his life for me. I’m just a simple guy in a small town, who was born here and will die here. Emerson is destined to do great things.
I press my lips against his, hard and sure because I’ve never been more sure about anything. About loving Emerson. Abouthim being my person. And about the absolute fact that I have to let him go.
He doesn’t kiss me back at first, a quiet sob coming from between his lips, but he gives in to me slowly. His mouth exploring mine like it’s not something he’s ever done before, even though he has.
We both know each other’s bodies—every single inch. “You know, I feel like we had plans for tonight. Something about you being a little less greedy?” I say as lightly as I can, though the nerves start to kick up in my belly.
I want this though. I want him. Something to keep with me forever. This memory and so many others.
“We don’t have to tonight.”
“See, I knew you weren’t going to be able to give up my dick,” I joke, and he laughs—a real hearty laugh—accompanied by the most beautiful smile that nearly cracks my heart in half.
“You’re fucking ridiculous.”
“As ridiculous as those shiny white tennis shoes you used to wear.”
