“Gross,” I say honestly.
She smiles and nods. “Agreed,” she sighs. “Your mother was so upset. I talked to John about possibly helping her out, but we had two babies at that point and were just starting the farm.” I can hear the guilt in her voice. “Maria took off. I didn’t hear from her for four years, and I have no idea what she did during that time. But then she called me one day out of the blue. She was getting married to your father and invited me to the wedding.”
“Did you go?”
She shakes her head sadly. “No. I was nine months pregnant with two little ones. I didn’t make the drive. I felt terrible about it and didn’t hear from her for years after that.” She wipes at her eyes, her guilt palpable. “Not until I got a card in the mail from her. A sonogram picture inside.”
“She told you when she was pregnant with me?”
She nods, a sad smile on her face. “She was so happy, Emerson. She wrote a lot after that. Back and forth. She’d tell me about you and how you were doing. She bragged all the time.”
I snort. “Hate to tell you how that all turned out, Aunt Kelly, but she was sorely disappointed.”
“I don’t think that’s true, Emerson,” she says firmly. “You were her pride and joy. Still are. When she called me about a job for you, I could hear the worry in her voice and the care she has for you.”
“She threw me away,” I say with a little more hostility to my voice than I meant, but it’s a tough subject for me.
“She didn’t. She just wants the best for you. She loves you.”
She moves in to hug me, but I step away, hoping it’s not too obvious that I’m trying to avoid her. I look up at the front of the house and see John standing there. I clear my throat and look at Kelly, hating the hurt I see on her face. “I should help John get the steer into his new home.”
Her lips are pursed in worry, but she clears her throat also and then nods. “When you’re done, grab Jasper and bring him into the main house. It’s almost dinnertime.”
“Okay,” I say, my voice scratchy with emotion.
I shouldn’t push my aunt away. I know she cares. But I also think she’s a bit biased in this situation.
It’s her sister.
Of course she wants to believe the best about her.
I just know better.
FOURTEEN
Today is shitty.
I slept horribly last night, tossing and turning, thinking about everything that happened in that motel room over and over again.
Then running into Coach Asher and Coach Leighton. That was unexpected, for sure. What are the odds of that happening? It’s like the universe can’t stop fucking with me.
I can’t get it off my mind, but I needed to go check on my family. So after letting Kelly know I’d get started on chores just a little later than normal and of course getting her wholehearted okay and a pie to take to them, I went to see them.
And it only served to put me in a terrible mood. My mom is clearly exhausted, and I doubt she got much sleep last night if the bags under her eyes tell me anything. My dad was in pain and quiet. Short with any answers he’d give to the few questions I asked until I finally just gave up asking.
Logan wailed when I told him I had to go and held onto my feet as I walked to the door, begging me to stay longer.
I told him I needed to work and pried him off me, promising I’d come back soon, but knowing it was probably a lie. Because I’m a selfish son of a bitch who can’t bear to see it.
When I get back to the farm and see Emerson working to repair the rusty old barbed-wire fence near the edge of the property, I’m even more pissy than normal. “You’re not allowed to take the Gator out without me,” I snap when I reach him.
He doesn’t even bother looking behind himself to find me. Just shrugs. “You weren’t here, and shit needed to get done. I wasn’t walking all the way out here. It’s hot as balls.”
“Then ask Kelly.”
He rolls his eyes at me and then goes back to working on the fence like I’m just some inconvenience. “Kelly is busy. John is busy. I can drive a goddamn Gator—” His sharp gasp has me on high alert, and I’m moving to him before he even speaks. “Fuck!”
I make it to him and look at the blood pouring from his finger, reaching for his wrist and pulling his hand up so I can inspect the wound closer. “Goddammit, Emerson. This is why city boys shouldn’t be out here unsupervised. Where the hell are your gloves?”
