“One day you’ll understand.” Diesel couldn’t think of anything else to say. Axel had just read him the riot act. “You’re too young now.”
“Nope. I won’teverunderstand another man moping over mean motherfuckersorblaming girls when a man is guilty, too.” Axel snorted. “If Rebel was Mattie and liked you the way she does, I’d tell her to get with you just to beat you up.”
“If a cousin liked me instead of a sister, you’d want her to kick my ass?”
“Notacousin.Mattie. Do you know how many cousins we have?”
“Most of them aren’t related.”
“And most of them are dudes. That’s not the point. We still see them as cousins. Family.”
“The meaning is watered down when you apply that word to everyone.” Resentment curled around the words. “It just proves my point.”
Another moment of consideration before Axel said, “Context clues tell me you mean because we call other people family like we do you, you don’t think we mean you’re part of the family.”
The way Axel put it made Diesel feel like a jackass.
“Isn’t your last name Caldwell?” Axel demanded.
“You know it is,” Diesel snapped.
“Then, motherfucker, that makes you our family. Our brother. Anyway, do you know how many other motherfuckers we know? A lot and noteveryoneis our family. Only those we really, really like.”
“I’m honored,” Diesel sneered.
Scowling, Axel kicked him again. “Know what I think?”
“I’m not interested in hearing.”
“Don’t care. I’m telling you anyway. I thinkyoudon’t want to beourfamily.Otherwise, you wouldn’t keep saying we don’t love you and we don’t think you’re our brother. ‘Cause, motherfucker, I’m tired of explaining the truth to you. So…context clues again…you cry sheep ‘cause that’s easier than admitting you would leave us in a minute if yourrealmom and dad came back.”
“Cry wolf. That’s not true.”
“Cry sheep.” Axel’s little voice had a distinct snarl. “Cry wolf means a lie. Cry sheep means you don’t want to admit the truth.”
“That isn’t an expression.”
“It’smyexpression. Don’t matter if no other motherfucker uses it. I don’t need nobody to agree to make it real, jackass.”
“Of course you don’t. You’ve only ever had the world handed to you on a platter. Your outlook would be different if you grew up wondering where your next meal came from. Wondering why you weren’t good enough.”
“Were you grown when Dad brought you home?”
“You know I wasn’t.”
“Then you didn’tonlygrow up without a platter. You got one, too. When Dad took you and made you a Caldwell. Mom still gives you money. I know because it was a big thing when you told her to give half to CJ. She was going to split it between all of us. I think she did for awhile, then Dad told her to save whatever you didn’t accept. So, motherfucker, I’m a poor man. I order you to stop taking Mom’s money if you don’t see your platter.”
“It’s not an actual platter.”
“The world can’t fucking fit on a platter, Diesel. I know it’s not a real platter. I’m just saying whatyousaid.”
“I appreciate Aunt Meggie’s generosity. Let me point out our differences right there. She’s mom to you and Aunt Meggie to me.”
“’Cause that’s how you wanted it.”
“Uncle Christopher told me to call her and him aunt and uncle.”
“Maybe, ‘cause they didn’t want you to be upset about your real parents. And, maybe, if you told them you don’t think you’re a Caldwell ‘cause you can’t call them Mom and Dad, they’d let you call them that. ‘Cause you hurt Mom’s feelings a lot. She saved Rebel and herself. She saved Rule, too. We got to cherish that woman. In a different way than we did. Dad wants her to be his sweet angel, but I like her as our Blonde Warrior.” He wagged a finger in front of Diesel’s face. “By the way, since you don’t like girls, you can’t be with Rebel.”
