My eyes tear up. This moment should be a happy moment. I just married my childhood crush. The man I fell madly in love with, then hated, and still flirted with for years in front of the whole club. I should be celebrating, yet here I am, an hour later after returning to the clubhouse, sitting on Cale’s bed in his clubhouse room. I’m staring at my wedding ring, suddenly regretting tying myself to him. I’m dumping my problematic self on him while the club celebrates outside of this door.
I snuck away after the ladies gushed over my ring, Tate giving me the perfect opportunity to ditch the festivities when she demanded attention.
For years, Cale and I have been at odds. For years, I’ve tried to focus on my revenge, and now everything is different, everything has changed.
My revenge is done, and I’m married, yet the thought of letting anyone, even him, touch me makes my skin crawl.
How can he still want me?
What if I can never give him my body, a family like he wants?
I sniffle and quickly wipe away my tears before taking a deep breath knowing I need to go back out there, I have to. Before I can move the door opens gaining my attention and the figure walking in takes my breath away like he always has, his cut hugging his muscular shoulders, his hair messy on top like he’s ran his fingers through it several times.
I don’t know why I gravitated towards Cale. I don’t really know why I had a crush on him, but I always had eyes for him, only him.
Without looking at me, Cale shuts the door then leans against it, holding something in his hand before he finally locks eyes with mine. Without breaking eye contact, he holds up what he brought in with him and I suck in a breath at the ‘property of,’ then ‘Venom’ on the back before he turns it around and shows me the front of the cut. My nickname, the one I loathed but secretly loved, standing out on the breast in icy blue.
My pulse races as we lock eyes again and he admits quietly, “Blade got it made before he even took over as president, knowing one day I was going to claim you.”
Oh…
“But the nickname?” I question just as quietly.
He only started calling me kitten last year when I finally fought back, when his words about my father became too much.
“He got it added when he heard me call you kitten for the first time,” he admits, and my tears fall again, so I look down, not knowing what to say.
Again, teenage me is jumping for joy right now, having her crush, her best friend's brother, finally claim her. But adult me…she is still in Ivy’s old room with a pole shoved inside her…
After a few seconds of silence, seeing I’m not going to speak, Cale speaks up instead and questions, “Every shitty thing I said over the years, all the accusations, why did you just take it instead of telling me the real reason why you acted weird around me?”
I smile softly before I look at the perfect man, and I admit, “Because you spoke to me and deep down I knew if you had found out about my crush, my feelings, you would have stayed away from me, and that thought hurt more than the words you’d say.”
Cale smiles bashfully, I take that moment to look down at my ring again and gently trace it as I admit on a whisper, “Teenage me finally got everything she’s ever wanted but adult me doesn’t think she deserves it,” I look at the man I gave my everything towillinglyand I choke, “I’m a killer, Cale, I have blood on my hands, I lied to the people I love, broke promises, hurt my mama, I was raped…”
“Shit,” he curses before rushing over to me.
Kneeling before me, he places the cut on the bed, then gently takes my jaw in his hand, and ensures we keep eye contact. My tears fall seeing the heartbreak in his eyes and he admits, “I love you, Raya, so fucking much, every single little bit of you. I love you, I have way before I should have. You are my everything,” before he kisses me gently, caressing my lips then ever so slowly, he pushes me back onto the bed, his left arm going around my waist lifting me up the bed before he lays his body on top of mine and I tense unwillingly. My body starts locking up, memory after memory ofhim, forcing himself on me coming back to me.
“You are my heart, my love, my wife, my forever,” Cale whispers against my lips, bringing me back to him as he gently rubs his thumb along my cheek, his eyes locking with mine.
Ever so gently, without looking away, Cale moves a hand between us and undoes my jeans, and my heart pounds.
“Spending every single second of every day pissing you off, it’s an honor I cannot wait to fulfill,” he says and I giggle, I can’t help it making him smile before gently pressing a kiss to my lips. He slowly moves his lips to my jaw as he murmurs, “To spend the evenings next to the open fire, with a glass a wine and you in my arms, preferably naked.”
My stomach tightens at his words as his lips go to my neck and his hands slowly lift his t-shirt I stole this morning off the bedroom floor before he moves slightly and lifts it over my head. I suck in a breath, the instinct to cover up and flinch strong, but Cale doesn’t let me be insecure. Instead, he quickly moves down my body and presses his lips to my wounds on my hips, and my tears fall at the tenderness he’s showing me.
“I want to build a family with you,” he whispers as he gently pulls my jeans and panties down my legs, removing them. My breathing gets heavier, but not with anticipation like I should be feeling…but with fear.
What if I disgust him?
What if the doctor missed something, and I give him something?
“I want to grow old with you, Raya Miller,” he says, getting my attention with the last name, and I look up at him to see him standing above me, looking over my body. Not looking at me with disgust, but instead, lust, love, and awe shine back at me, making my tears fall harder.
Slowly, he removes his cut and lays it next to mine on the bed before he removes his own shirt, throwing it on the floor.
I side-eye it to see where it landed, and he snorts, he knows I’m clocking it so I can steal it later. He continues as he undoes his jeans and slowly pulls them off, along with his boots and boxers, standing before me completely naked, full of tattoos.
