I fist my hands as my breathing quickens before I hear Hudson’s squeal, and I know he still has hold of him, so I take a deep breath before I go back in there and kill him, and I stomp towards my car, his laughter that I used to love following me.
Don’t kill Hudson’s uncle, I repeat, don’t kill his uncle!
How on earth can you go from loving someone to hating them?
Guess nearly dying and seeing shit in a new light will do that to you because being happy isn’t in my future, revenge is.
Chapter 5
Venom
I smirk as I spin my pen between my fingers, and I lean back in my office chair as the look of anger on Raya’s face comes back to me, settling me knowing she couldn’t kick me in the nuts again because I had hold of Hudson.
Should I be trying to start fights with her? No, not really, especially when I’m holding our nephew because yes, he is her nephew as well, especially with how much love she shows him. But years of that being our routine, angry flirting, I can’t help myself, just like she can’t help but react, besides, it’s the only fucking time I get any reaction out of her now.
No more shy smiles, hiding her face, no more murmuring when I ask her a question, just pure hate whenever I piss her off.
For years I thought she was using Ivy, for years I’ve been trying to break their friendship up, worried my sister would get hurt, but fuck, when Ivy was unconscious after having an emergency caesarean after she fell down some steps, Psycho pushing her out of the way to protect her from a bullet that was aimed at her stomach by Misty, a now dead jealous clubwhore who thought she had claim on Psycho, I saw the fear. I saw the pain that radiated from Raya who never left my sister’s side and while Hudson was in neonatal care, a chance he may not survive, she was there holding my little sister up, just like she was there helping her through her pain when Psycho was in a coma then woke after months with five years of his memory missing. Memories of them…and when Psycho finally remembered the most important parts of his life with my little sister, I saw the happiness that radiated from her for her friend.
She’s earned my respect, something I know she isn’t aware of.
Raya loves my little sister like she’s her own sister and after years of making her life hell, she’s clung to my sister with an iron fist. Never willing to lose that friendship, always standing by her even when Ivy was in the wrong and for that I am in awe of her. I was a dick and most people would have said, ‘fuck that shit,’ and walked away.
But not Raya, not my girl.
Do I still think she’s using my sister? No, not really, not anymore, not after everything Ivy’s been through. But I do think she’s still trying to piss off her daddy, so I like to fuck with her a little over it.
Maybe he’s a dick and lowered her allowance like my dad did with my mama who went crazy and tried to sell my little sister then disappeared. I don’t know but I don’t take it to heart anymore. Instead, I find it funny and I guess I came to terms months ago their friendship is for the long hall but that doesn’t mean I can’t piss her off. I think that is more of a defense mechanism for me, one I’ve held onto for a very long time and didn’t want to admit.
Dad was right, I had feelings for her – have – and it is fucked up, especially because she now hates me and won’t speak to me unless I say something nasty.
I sigh as I drop my pen, the photo on my desk gaining my attention, and I swallow hard, the smirk gone.
Raya, grinning at the diner, her hair down, wearing a light blue dress, the silver chain she never takes off dangling from her slender neck, a necklace that has a heart pendent dangling from it saying ‘daughter’.
I hate that I have feelings for her, hate that I spent years trying to run from them. I mean fuck, she was fifteen when Dad put it in my head, which clearly makes me a fucking prick.
Who wants a fifteen-year-old at nineteen, huh?
It’s wrong, so very fucking wrong. Raya’s icy blue eyes pop into my head, and I groan, dropping my head to my desk.
Fucking years thinking she was a patch chaser only to realize… I’m, fuck me, I’m in love with the little smart mouth pixie of a woman who is no longer shy around me but won’t keep eye contact for long when we do make it.
Does she have feelings for me?
Was that her problem the whole time?
I huff and sit up as I mutter, “Well, those are stupid fucking thoughts.”
She wants to piss off her daddy, that is obvious, but I was also a dick, so why would she speak to me?
I mean, I could try being nice to her.
The alarm on my phone goes off just as I hear,“Church!” shouted from behind my door, and I groan as I slouch in my chair.
I’ve barely sat down today, between helping Eagle with Dark Angel’s Girls, continuing my job role at Dark Angel’s Nights and the road maps. I’m fucking tired and it doesn’t help that I only got to see Raya for five fucking seconds yesterday after she spent the afternoon with Hudson and Ivy instead of the hour I had planned because I had to help Eagle take over his son’s fucking role.
Viper, the fucker, has decided to go nomad for a while to get his head straight, meaning, I’m now taking on some of his duties until he returns.
