Time is almost up.
I wonder for a split second if I should say something to them, but I know if I do, they’ll want to come with me. They’ll want to try to keep me alive. So, how do I tell them that my plan might involve me giving up my life for Astra’s? I mean, it’s more of the back-up plan, but I’m not going to rule out the option if it’s the only one I have left.
“Donovan.” It comes out sounding more like a warning, and I glare at Torrin as I bring the flame to the end of my cigarette. “What’s the plan?”
“The plan is for you to stay with Astra and keep her safe. Nothing else matters, do you hear me?”
“Fuckin’ hell, Donovan,” Torrin growls as he turns and steps right in front of me. I growl a warning in return as I move so I can have eyes on Astra. “No, you don’t get to do this. Ideserve to know what the hell is going on. I deserve to know what I’m up against.”
“You’re not up against anything,” I tell him, doing my best to keep the rage under control. “I am. I’ve told you what I need from you. Keep Astra safe, and if I don’t make it to see tomorrow…”
“Shut up with that shit,” he seethes. Now he’s in my face. I can see the hurt and anger swirling in his eyes. “All these years I’ve been by your side. I’ve helped you. I’ve watched your back. I’ve been your goddamn friend. Not because I want your fucking empire! No! It’s because you are my fucking brother. My family. And if you’re in some shit, it fuckin’ means I’m in some shit too. It’s always been that way, and it will always be that way, no matter what.”
It’s weird to hear him say it. Weird, I think, to actually let it sink in. Sure, it’s been there this whole time, as an unspoken thing between us. He is my brother, too. My family. The person I trust the most in this life. I don’t have to say it or let the world see it, but I’ll always have his back, too, because of this.
Because I fucking care about the dumbass.
I’m so close to rolling my eyes at him. I would if his outburst hadn’t put me a little on edge.
“Now, now,” Andre says rather coolly from beside us before I can spill my secrets. I’m actually not sure I would have been able to hold them in much longer, not after that display from Torrin. “You don’t wanna be attractin’ attention, do ya? Might want to simmer.” He sighs. “Well, too damn late now.”
“Guys?” Astra says a second later. She’s close, and I curse myself for taking my damn eyes off her. “Everything okay?”
I drop my smoke to the ground and crush it out as Torrin’s mask comes down. He turns toward her with an easygoing smile on his face, and if I didn’t know him, I wouldn’t have a damnclue it wasn’t real. It would just leave me with the sense that two friends were over here squabbling in a playful sense.
“Everything’s fine,” I bite out, knowing damn well I’m showing my irritation. “Time to go.”
With that, I grab Astra’s hand and start walking in the direction of the house.
THIRTY-ONE
Astra
“Thank you,” I say softly to Donovan as we walk. I even try to send him a small smile.
I hate that we’re leaving so early, but I understand. I don’t really think I should complain about spending a couple of hours alone with him… if that is what he has in mind. I’m really hoping it is.
He grunts, still clearly agitated over whatever the heck happened between Torrin and him. I want to ask, but I also want to live in blissful denial a little longer. I’m not ready to have this night ruined.
When he finally looks at me, I see a change in him instantly. It’s almost like his body goes from a tightly coiled snake ready to strike to a cat sunbathing in a window. I nearly laugh at the thought. Okay, it’s not quite like that, but I like the image and decide to keep it around for a little while.
For the first time, I can say for sure his reaction is all his own. I’ve got my emotions on lockdown, and while I’m a long way from mastering the art of controlling my abilities, I do know how to tell when they’ve beenactivated. Since I don’t feel that strange static zap under my skin, I know this is all him.
Whether that sounds awesome or nerdy, I can’t tell.
“You’re welcome,” he finally says to me. There’s no smile on his face, but I can see a light in his eyes.
“Shall we… watch a movie when we get ho—” I clear my throat. “Back to your place?” I don’t pretend to have played that off smoothly.
It hits me, I don’t really have a home. Sure, it felt like living with the aunts was a home, but now that I know the truth about that place, I can’t think of it the same ever again. I know I had a home with my mom, but it was so long ago. Even if I’m getting my memories back, it’s not like a lot of them have returned. I still have so many gaps. I can’t remember what it was like living with her.
I don’t even need to say that my father’s place doesn’t count. There was never a moment when I felt like I could live there and be a part of his family. I was never welcome there, and I never would want to be after truly knowing who my father is.
Is it stupid to think that after a week, Donovan’s place could feel more like home than anything I’ve had in a long time? Maybe for the first time in my adult life, I finally understand what it’s like to be a part of something. To be accepted for who I am.
I look around, seeing the muscle surrounding us like we’re something sacred. The way they’re willing to give their lives for us, and I have a feeling it’s not all for a paycheck. There has to be something more. I see Fabien walking beside Andre, the two of them in a conversation. Well, it looks more like Fabien is nervously rambling while Andre nods and hums every now and then. Andre’s focus is on our surroundings, but the way his mouth curls up at the corners is a dead giveaway to the fact that he’s actually listening to the animated witch beside him as well. I turn my attention to Torrin, walking with one hand in his pocket. He appears casual, but for me, it’s easy to see how he’s two steps in front of Donovan, ready to cover him should trouble come.
This is Donovan’s family. Along with Lucille. Oh, and all the people I haven’t met yet, because I’m sure there are more. They take care of him, and I know he takes care of them too in his own way. He may not show it, but he does care about those he keeps close.
