“Oh, no. Was anything taken?” I ask. The concern in my voice is real. I hate this for him.
“Some of my notes and my laptop.” He looks more disappointed than angry, but I think that’s just who he is. “I’m still sorting out everything.”
“Do you need to go take care of it?”
“No.” He sends me a small smile. “I need a break.” He reaches for his cup of coffee. “And coffee.”
“Mmm,” I hum after I reach for mine and finally take my first sip of coffee. “The coffee my aunts made was never like this.”
Fabien laughs.
“I remember playing here—well, not playing, but being here when I was younger. Lucille makes the besteverything.” His smile is distant. “I’ve missed many things about this place for years, but I’m also grateful for the life I’ve been given to live.”
“You were close to Donovan?”
“Well, sort of. Torrin is my cousin,” he tells me. “He and Donovan have been friends for more than half their lives. I used to… get to tag along with them when we were younger. Then, well, things changed. They became older and had more responsibilities.”
The way he says that tells me to read between the lines.
I cock my head and stare at him. There’s a story there, but I’m not sure I have the right to ask. Was he close to Donovan growing up? Looking at him, I’d say he’s maybe around thirty, so seven years younger than Donovan. Maybe he was like a little brother at one point. Was it Donovan who sent him away?
Does the monster have a heart underneath the cold exterior?
“Let’s talk about what Torrin told me when he called yesterday,” he says, changing the subject before I can question myself and ask him what Donovan was like as a kid.
“Where do I even start?” I flash him a look that says this is all too much. “I had no idea, I swear. My emotions… they’ve never been likethis.”
“Strong? Uncontrollable?”
“There, period. And yesterday it was like they were all over the place.” He looks at me as if my answer is confusing, and I get it. How do I explain that I don’t remember having a burst of any kind of emotion before recently?
I go into everything I can remember. Then I fill him in on what Sandra told me. I don’t see the point in holding back, especially if Fabien can help me in some way. He certainly knows more than I do. It probably doesn’t help that the only teachings I can remember came from three kooky witches of a small coven.
“Sure, I’ve laughed before, and even felt sadness, but it always felt dulled, I guess. I don’t think I ever knew any other way.” I shrug when I finish as if to say I don’t really know how it all fits. I’m still trying to process everything.
“A lot has been done to you,” he says, and I can’t say I disagree. “It’s no wonder everything is kind of exploding now.”
“How do I control it?”
“I think being aware of it is the first step. Next, you just have to learn how to hold onto your true emotions. Find out what it is you really feel and don’t let any others in.”
“Or let those feelings out,” I toss in.
“It’s fascinating,” he says, making me feel a little like a lab rat. I don’t mind so much since it’s kind of adorable the way he gets into it. It’s easy to see that Fabien is they type of person who wants to learn everything about everything. “It’s almost like you’re a conduit for emotions. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of something like that. I know of those who can soothe people while they are in a hysterical emotional state, and I’ve met a few empaths before. I’ve seen their magic in action. I felt them pull the emotions away from me. It’s wild. But both at the same time?” He shakes his head, his eyes wild with amazement. “Never.”
“Glad I could be such a wonder for you,” I tease.
He blushes and looks down before mumbling, “Sorry, I’m not very good around people. I tend to get too excited about things others don’t. I mean no offense.”
“I think it’s amazing,” I tell him. I reach over and put a comforting hand over his. “I like how confident you are in things you’re interested in. I’m at your service if it makes you light up like that when you talk about it. Just call me your guinea pig, though I’m not sure what exactly I’m offering myself up for.”
“I would never want to harm you. Besides, if we are going to run any experiments, it will have to be with the approval of Donovan.” He abruptly snaps his mouth closed.
That’s when I hear footsteps coming behind me. It’s Donovan, I can tell just by the confident pounding of the walk. I don’t turn around to acknowledge him. I hold my breath becauseI don’t know how this is going to go. It gives me a tiny ball of anxiety in my gut. I wish I had a script or a road map. It’s not like I’m expecting it to go a certain way, it’s more… I wish I knew which direction so I could have an idea of how to navigate what’s to come.
Anxious and unsure thoughts wash through me. I have no idea where they come from.
He left me in bed alone,I remind myself.This is all just fun and games.
