“I’msignificantly older than you,” I point out. She can’t be over twenty-five, which would make me over ten years older than her.
“Are you?” she asks. Her eyes assess me as if she’s looking at me for the first time. Really looking at me. “What are you, thirty-two?”
“Thirty-seven,” I correct.
“Oh,” she says, sounding shocked. “Well, twelve years isn’t that much older, I guess.” So, I was right. She’s twenty-five. I’ve never given much thought to age before, and I’m not sure I want to think about how I feel about now. Maybe it’s the fact that she was a virgin. Fuck! I need a damn moment to myself to think. “No, these men are closer to grandpa age. And I can confidently say it’s not my thing. Look, I wasn’t trying to stay pure or whatever. I just never had the opportunity until recently. You were…more or less, in the right place at the right time, I guess. Plus, you’re very attractive. Which I’m sure you’re aware of. So, it shouldn’t really surprise anyone that I slept with you.”
I preen internally at her words and instantly hate myself. Then I think about it deeper. She said I was attractive, yes, but she also made it sound like that was enough of a reason to let me fuck her. Like I hadn’t meant anything.
She didn’t mean anything to you, either,my fucking internal voice points out. Somehow, when it’s turned the other way around, it digs a little.
“Anyway,” Fabien cuts in. “It could be like a booby trap. If the feelings or relationship or something aren’t pure, then you end up with a basic case of cursed.” His brows go up like he’s doing his best to make the situation a little lighter. I find no comfort in it.
“Like a magical chastity belt?” Astra says with a confused look on her face. “Only, you get through, but then you’re…”
“Fucked,” I finish pointedly for her. I can’t help but smile as she raises a brow at me, the look in her eyes says there’s no other way to put it.
“Seems a bit archaic,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes.
“Ending in death seems a bit extreme,” I say.
“Death?!” Astra gasps.
“Well, not like death,death,” Fabien rushes to say. “Or, at least, I hope not. I’m still working on the symbol. But it means some kind of death, whether it is referring to the person being cursed or a thing connected to the reason for the curse, I can’t say.”
“Wait,” Torrin says, stepping into the middle of the room. “So, who would have done this curse?” Yes, I want to know this too. I scold myself for not thinking about that angle of this whole situation. He turns to Astra. “Your father?”
The thought is gross. What kind of man would put a virginity curse on his daughter?!
I have no proof it was him, yet I’m enraged. I’m so pissed my blood feels like it’s boiling inside of me. My hands make fists at my sides. Astra looks as if the thoughts running through her head are similar to the ones I’m having.
“I’ll kill him,” I say, not caring about the way I feel as if I can’t control my anger.
“Donovan.” Torrin is there with his hand on my shoulder. Something shifts in Astra’s eyes, and the red begins to clear from my vision. I force my lids closed as I shake the rest of the rage away. “We don’t even know—”
“Fuck this.” I spin and stomp my way to the bar in the corner. I leave my back to the room.
“Donovan.” It’s Astra’s voice coming from right behind me. Her hand is on my shoulder, and I try to shake it off, but she doesn’t let me go.
“Maybe I’m wrong,” Fabien rushes to say, though I can tell he doesn’t think he’s on the wrong path. Which tells me that we’re really fucked. We’ve done something that can’t be undone. Yeah, re-virgining isn’t a fucking thing. If this situation weren’t dire, I might laugh at the thought.
“Keep working at it,” I say to Fabien, tone a little defeated. Astra’s fingers flex against my skin. “Please,” I add, though I’m not sure why. When her fingers relax again, I can’t tell if I’m happy I pleased her or pissed because one little touch has turned me into someone I’m not. I don’t fucking say please. It makes me hate myself for reasons I can’t explain. I fucking hate her too, for all those same reasons.
I lose her touch as I turn back around to face the room.
“The lines on my skin have lessened since I ran into her,” I tell Fabien.
“Same,” Astra says, turning to face the room too.
She takes a step away from me, and I breathe a sigh of relief at the distance. I don’t like having her so close. My skin gets tight and I feel like I can’t fucking think with the scent of wild roses filling my nose. I itch to light up another smoke to cover it up.
“What do you think it means?” I ask.
Fabien’s eyes go distant as he thinks. I’m familiar with this look. He was always in his head when we were younger, and itbrings a wave of nostalgia and security seeing it now. Two things I don’t have time for—or a need for in the life I live.
“I think it might be best if the two of you don’t spend a lot of time apart,” he finally says. I don’t like his words, so I glare at him. “I’m not saying you have to be glued at the hip. Maybe spend some time apart and see if you notice how long it takes the symptoms or the lines to come back. Stay in the same vicinity. Then take a step away, like, one of you could leave for a bit. Just to see what happens. Let me know the results, too, please.” He winces as if he thinks the request will set me off.
“Fine,” I grit out. I haven’t forgotten what she saw earlier, the whole reason why I brought her here in the first place. I don’t remind myself of the fact that I can’t let her go, no matter how much I hate having her here.
