I wasn’t ready to lose Silas again. Of course, I wasn’t. I’d just gotten him back and I still had so many questions that needed answers.
And if I was being really, painfully honest, I didn’t want this feeling to go away. Yeah, I was talking about the one that I couldn’t quite figure out yet.
“Please, be okay,” I whispered as I watched his chest rise and fall.
I just needed him to make it through this.
-24-
Jessica
It was three days before Silas started to look like he wasn’t on the verge of death.
Two more after that until he was able to get out of bed without looking like he wanted to pass out.
And now, a week later from when Dalton had arrived, Silas was nearly back to normal.
Dalton was an interesting man. I still had no clue who he was or what he did. I didn’t care, I was just thankful for what he’d done for Silas. Luckily, he only stuck around for those first three days. I’d given my room up to him, choosing to stay in the bed with Silas because I was so worried about him.
I didn’t want to be mean and say I was glad the man was gone, but I pretty much was.
“Thanks for making dinner,” Silas said.
We were sitting at the small table in the kitchen. It sat in front of a large window and overlooked the trees that surrounded the cabin. I had grown fond of this little spot. There was something peaceful about looking out and seeing nothing but nature all around.
This place wasn’t all that bad. I kind of liked the break. That said, I wasn’t sure that I would like being so isolated all the time.
“I’m just glad it came out eatable,” I responded with a little laugh.
“It was really good.” He paused for a moment, his eyes soft as they looked into mine. I didn’t hate it but I wasn’t sure what was going on inside of me. “So, I’m guessing that whole cooking thing is still a struggle? I would have thought you’d be a pro at it by now with all the determination you had back then. You always said—”
“That I was going to learn how to make all your favorites so your mom wouldn’t have to worry about cooking ever again,” I finished for him. No, I hadn’t forgotten about that. “And I only said that like three times. She deserved the break and I was so thankful for everything she did for me.”
“Well, she’s got that break now. I made sure of that.”
“I’m glad.” I wondered how much she was enjoying her time now.
And because I was thinking about it, I couldn’t help but wonder how much longer I’d have to be here. Like, would I ever get to see for myself? Would there be a day when I could see her? One day, would I get the chance to hug her and let her know how much she meant to me?
“What are you thinking?” he asked and when I blinked myself back into focus, I saw his brows were pinched together like he was trying to see inside of my head.
“I was just wondering if I’ll ever be able to leave here.”
“Oh,” he said with a huge tinge of disappointment in his tone. Now that I replayed that in my head, it hadn’t come out the way I meant. But he spoke again before I could fix it. “I need to start working on that. I should make some calls.”
“Silas,” I said as he started to get up. My hand covered his on the table and he froze halfway to standing. “I want to see them. Your mom and sister. That’s what I was thinking about.”
“I’m sure they’d like to see you too.”
“I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. This is just a lot. One day, I’m in a normal relationship and the next, I’m thrown into this world where I’m dating a heroin dealer and apparently there’s a hit out on him. Oh, and you’re the one that takes the job. It’s kind of got my head spinning.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. Can I ask, what is it you want?” I cocked my head in confusion and asked him what he meant. “Do you want to go back to your life? Back to what you had? I mean, say I can get this all straightened out without any kind of complications.”
A huffed out laugh forced its way out of my throat. My life and complications seemed to go hand-in-hand, so I doubted it would be something that would happen.
But maybe it didn’t matter because I was pretty sure the last thing I wanted was that part of my life back.
“Well, seeing as things weren’t going so well, I’m okay with moving on. Maybe trying someplace new. I’ve started over before, it’s not like it’s a big deal at this point.”
