That night flashed in my mind.
I’d tried so hard not to think about it all these years.
I had been having such a good time. We were just being kids making the best of the situation we were handed. I clung to that windowsill, my head practically hanging outside just so I could hear the words of the TV. I couldn’t even tell you what we were watching. It was our thing. Silas would set the TV up on a bunch of plastic milk crates in the middle of his room. I’d sit on my bed which was right under the window. Irenna would sit on Silas’ bed and we’d watch TV together, in a sense. It was as good as it got for me.
God, I missed those days.
Even if I had to stay quiet so my parents wouldn’t find out. The thing was, we weren’t doing anything wrong.
I turned off the burner for the soup and left the pot sitting there. I was suddenly bone-tired and afraid I’d fall asleep if I sat for too long.
My eyes danced over the walls of the cabin as I moved from one room to the next. It wasn’t some big, fancy place, but it wasn’t exactly a shack in the woods either. And the decor didn’t scream ‘I like to hunt’ even a little bit. There were beautiful, peaceful paintings hung on the walls. While the leather couch gave a hint to the man-den this place was, the leather looked new and soft instead of cheap.
I felt this calm feeling wash over me as I made my way up the stairs. There were only two bedrooms. There was also one bathroom off of the hall. I knew there was another bathroom in the master bedroom. And since Silas was in that bedroom, I made my way into the smaller one after checking on him and seeing he was still out, but at least he was breathing.
The mattress seemed to suck me in the moment I tested it out.
I meant to blink but my eyes just stayed closed.
-20-
Silas
“Fuck,” I groaned as I tried to roll over.
I barely remembered seeing Jessica before I lost consciousness. My body finally decided to give the fuck up. I was amazed that I made it as long as I had. The drive, it had not been fun. I was in so much pain that I stopped more times than I should have needed to, my tank only down halfway nearly every time. Somehow I’d just barely beaten Hunt and Jessica.
I sat up with another groan. Checking my shirtless torso, I could tell that someone had patched me up. Hunt was my guess. I owed him one, that was for sure.
I knew he was gone even before I put my feet on the floor. There was no reason for him to stick around. He’d done his job and delivered the package. It felt weird calling her that. To him she was, but to me she was the sign that changed everything in my life.
It was like I had been holding my breath all these years.
I prayed she’d stayed but I wouldn’t have been surprised if she fled. I had no idea how long I’d been out and I was sure she’d had the opportunity to run.
It couldn’t have been easy for her, she’d seen me kill a man after all. Right there, in front of her eyes. A man that she was close to, that much was obvious. Imagining her in a relationship with him made something sour in my empty stomach.
Did she know?
How could she not?
Did she care that she was with not only a married man, but a man that didn’t hesitate to kill someone?
You’re a man that doesn’t hesitate to kill someone.
Reminding myself of that didn’t make it better.
My head-voice was a little bit wrong though. I did hesitate. I didn’t take a job without good reason. I never killed someone that didn’t deserve it.
Still trying to justify it, I see.
Okay, fine. The inner me was right.
I was really no better.
Hopefully, she’d stay around long enough to fill in the gaps, assure me that she was living a good life or something.
But deep down, I knew this wasn’t about setting my mind at ease. It was about saving her. Protecting her. Caring for that little nine-year-old girl that had never been given a chance from day one.
