CHAPTER TWELVE
Petra
I shouldn’t have let Iron take me on thatdateor whatever you wanted to call it. I wasn’t saying that because it was awful. It was rather nice and by the end of the evening, I knew I wouldn’t object to another one.
True to his word, he put me on the back of his bike and I would say that wasn’t awful either. As I held onto him, it was clear he knew how to control the beast. Not that I had any doubts. I may have liked the way he put his hand on my thigh every time he rolled to a stop for a red light and kept it there until it turned green.
That was two weeks ago.
And while I liked riding on his bike just fine, I had been on it enough in the last two weeks. It seemed that once I gave that inch, he took a mile, deciding that we needed to ‘head out’ and ‘ride’ whenever he came over.
I think he liked having me behind him. I got the sense that it meant more than simply taking me out for a ride. That was the only reason that I hadn’t said anything.
Our relationship wasn’t exactly defined, not unless you counted the fact that I washis, as he liked to put it. I took that to mean that I was the only woman he wanted in his life and that it was some kind of biker way to lay claim on someone. Did I like those words? No, of course, I didn’t. Every time he said it there was something in my brain that sparked and my eye twitched. But then I would remember the words he spoke to me. I supposed it was the meaning behind those words that caused me to let it go. I wasn’t his in the way that he owned me. I was his because he only wanted me.
I honestly still didn’t have a clue what to do with that weeks later.
Iron and I worked well together, that much I could admit. He was the best sexual partner I’d ever come across. The fact that he cared had a lot to do with that. He gave on days when I needed to feel like I had the power. He bowed down for me when I was stuck in moments where I felt like I wasn’t strong enough. What really stood out was how well he read me. He took the time to see what was going on with me. Those times when I felt the weight on my shoulders, he took over and gave me a safe place to let go without losing myself.
I feared that I’d let him in too much. There wasn’t a thing I could do about it though. It was done and I couldn’t undo it. While I knew I could walk away and cut him out of my life, there was something keeping me from making that move.
Where did that leave me?
Mostly confused.
I wasn’t someone that breezed in and out of each day without a care or plan. I liked to have a direction and a goal to work toward. I liked to see the outcome when it was miles down the road.
What was his end goal with me?
Did he want to get married?
Did he want children?
I could truthfully say that neither of those two things had ever been a goal I wanted to obtain. I didn’t dislike kids, I just wasn’t the motherly type. I knew it and there was no sense in trying to make myself be something that I would never be. As far as marriage went, I guess I hadn’t thought of it too much either way. I didn’t see the point in it but then again, I understood that some people needed that unnecessary step to feel whole. To complete their union and feel closer to one another. I couldn’t see that ever being me.
Even as I sat in my office and tried hard to think about myself in a long white gown while I said vows to someone, I couldn’t envision a clear picture. It was like it wasn’t even me in that image because I simply didn’t fit there. Placing Iron in the faceless figure beside me didn’t change anything. Which told me that if that was something he wanted, I wasn’t so sure that I would be the person to give it to him.
I supposed these were things that I needed to bring up with him. It was smart to go ahead and get it out of the way if we were going to continue the way we had been. There was no sense in wasting any more of each other’s time if the goal wasn’t the same.
A notification popped up on my computer letting me know that someone had entered the building. It was still early in the day that I wasn’t expecting any clients to come in any time soon. Most of the activity happened later in the night. The girls did come and go as they pleased, so I wasn’t on any kind of alert, but I did like to know what was going on in my building.
I tapped the keys, pulling up the camera on the first floor.
Rowan’s bubbly face appeared as she waited for the elevator. She smiled and waved at the camera like she knew I was watching her. I supposed she knew me well enough at this point.
A brief smile kicked up my lips as I let out a silent chuckle.
I knew she’d be back from her honeymoon by now but I wasn’t sure why she was here. The moment she found her perfect match, she hung up her mask and whip. Not that I blamed her. In fact, I saw it coming. And since their romance had been a whirlwind, it wasn’t all that long ago that she left me.
I hadn’t found someone to replace her. Not for her rooms and clients, and not for stepping into my spot when I needed someone to.
I trusted most of my girls enough but I wasn’t so sure about any of them having the same level of caution and care that I did. It was a hard thing to step back and take a break.
“Surprised to see me?” Rowan said in a cheerful tone as she stepped into my office.
“Maybe a little,” I told her with a small smile. “Was your honeymoon good?”
“Amazing,” she said wistfully. “Can’t you tell? Check out my tan.”
