CHAPTER TEN
Petra
It seemed that once the ice had cracked, there was a flood of water pouring out everywhere. And by that, I meant I was surrounded by so many different tiny bursts of emotion all at once. I didn’t like them and I sure as hell didn’t want them. It seemed when I faced and dealt with one, another one would pop up in my face.
It was exhausting and I didn’t understand how people could do this all the time. It was so much easier to keep myself focused on the things I could control.
Iron didn’t say anything while I ate my food and… processed. Yes, I guess that would have been the best way to put it.
I knew what I was most of the time. I wasn’t blinded by peoples’ reaction to me or how I came off. And I wasn’t sorry about it. People either accepted it or walked away. It was easiest that way because I didn’t have to deal with their bullshit. I didn’t have a problem with who I was and how I did things. I made myself the way I was and I knew it came with a ton of costs. That said, I didn’t care. If they felt intimidated by me or trampled on by the way I carried myself, then they weren’t strong enough to be in my life.
I’d learned from a young age that there was no room in my world for the weak.
And I made sure that I’d never be weak.
If I wanted to be the one on top, I had to fight for it. I had to cut and bleed and never back down. It was clear that I’d done all of that because I was at the top. That wasn’t me bragging, it was just a fact.
I also learned that you had to step on people sometimes to claim the throne. But that shouldn’t mean that you stabbed the people that were loyal to you in the back. You couldn’t be a ruler if there was no one to rule, after all.
“Come here,” he said after I’d finished my food.
My eyes cut to look at him and he had the audacity to pat his lap with his hand.
“Put your head down, babe. We’re gonna talk about some shit,” he said in a tone that I wasn’t used to hearing from him.
With a frustrated breath, I pulled my feet up onto the couch as my head fell to rest on his thigh. I kept my eyes forward. This talking thing he mentioned didn’t sound like something good. I wasn’t one for conversation in general, but by his tone, this wasn’t going to be the every day,the weather is great, kind of talk.
“Tell me about them,” he said softly as his hand went to my stomach. He held it there, the heat from his palm seeping through the worn shirt.
I knew he was talking about the long scars that decorated my torso. They were only part of the reason that I didn’t like to get naked in front of anyone. They didn’t disgust me. And I didn’t even feel anything when I saw them reflected in the mirror. Which was why I didn’t realize how ugly there were, and it only took one person’s reaction to clue me in on that. Since then, I figured it was best to keep them hidden if I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“I don’t understand the point. The past is in the past and retelling it won’t change it,” I told him flatly.
“I know that, but I’m askin’ because I want to know more about you. I want to know everything. You get me?”
“No, I don’t really,” I said with a shake of my head.
“Don’t you want to know about me?” he asked.
“I know what I need to know,” I told him with a shrug. “I know where you were born. I know your real name. I know how many times you’ve moved in your life. I know your parents’ names and where they live. I know that you are an only child.”
“What else do you know, Pet?” He didn’t sound even a little surprised that I knew all of that about him. He’d never told me any of it and I knew he was a smart enough man to figure out how I knew. Just like it wouldn’t surprise me if he had a background rundown on me.
“Your father belonged to a different club than this one. At one point, he was their President. Your mother was a dentist. I would assume those are the reasons that you continue the life and have such nice teeth.”
He let out a chuckle that rumbled his chest.
“You have my background. You’re spouting all the shit anyone can get on paper. But have you ever wondered things beyond those facts?” he asked.
I paused for a long moment. Sure, some things had crossed my mind. I was curious but at the same time, I didn’t think it would change how I looked at him. I knew who he was. I knewwhathe was. And there was no need to dive deeper into anything else.
But the thing about having it thrown in your face like that was it had my mind thinking about more than I wanted to.
My head turned and I looked up at him. He must have seen the questions behind my eyes because he started telling me the things I was wondering about.
“My dad cast a wide shadow. It was one that was hard to get out from under. I loved that club, I grew up in it. They are all good men. I knew the club life was for me but I knew it was going to have to be somewhere else. I wanted to make my own way, my own name.”
“You couldn’t stand being compared to your father so you ran like a baby?” I asked and I didn’t mean it to come out so harshly.
