CHAPTER FOUR
Mouse
Days slipped by and I kept myself busy. I volunteered to go on the next run before Prez even handed out names. I jumped to do anything and everything he needed like I was a fucking prospect. He watched me with knowing eyes but not once did he say anything. Even as I kept coming back time and time again.
I picked up a few extra patrols just to keep from letting myself grow restless. Though I didn’t think that Lake minded one bit that I asked to take his slot a few times.
“We were starting to think you disappeared, dude,” Brand said one morning as I breezed into the kitchen to grab something to eat.
I stopped dead in my tracks and noticed a group of my brothers sitting at one of the tables. Among them, Ky. For some weird reason, a hard swallow forced its way down my throat.
“Been keeping busy,” I said as I snapped myself out of the weird frozen state that held me captive. “Lot of stuff to do. You think my ass just sits around eating bonbons all day?”
I tried to joke.
My laugh felt forced.
I grabbed some leftovers and because I’d been feeling a bit lonely lately, I joined my brothers at the table.
I knew I was the one to blame for the isolation but I couldn’t come up with a good reason why I should push them away right now. It wasn’t them. Whatever was going on with me had nothing to do with the club. It was all me.
Something I needed to work through on my own but also I wasn’t allowing it to seep into my brain so I could even work on it.
“Should be a quick run this weekend,” B-ry said with a lift of his chin in my direction.
“Yeah, there and back. Are we staying the night?” I asked, having a feeling that he might want to stay there and hang with the brothers a bit. I hadn’t exactly gotten the details, though I should have had them by now. I was sure Iron had spouted them off in Church at some point, but I couldn’t recall anything right now.
“Stayin’ the night,” he said looking at Ky. “South boys are having a cookout.”
I nodded blindly as I shoved a forkful of food in my mouth. I chewed and swallowed but couldn’t even begin to tell you what it tasted like.
“You alright?” Ky’s low and almost gravelly voice asked me.
“Yeah, fine.” I tried to give him a smile but it felt shaky. And by the way he was eyeing me, I wasn’t pulling anything over on any of them.
“Haven’t seen much of you since Ingram got back,” he said and his eyes practically drilled holes into mine as he pinned me with a hard stare.
“Is she doing good?” I asked not bothering to acknowledge his cryptic statement.
At that, his face softened and I knew he was thinking of Ingram and Chry. He loved his sister dearly. Anyone that would step in between that better have a good damn reason. And any man that dared to catch her attention, well, they must have a death sentence.
As I started to think about it I became itchy. No man was good enough for her or Chry. Or so I thought. Maybe the universe would prove me wrong one day. But even if it did, they’d have to go through Ky, Chris, and the whole damn club first.
“She’s settling in nicely. I think she’s really happy to be home.” He smiled. “She belongs here.”
I couldn’t disagree with that.
I had so many questions running through my head but I couldn’t open my mouth to voice them.
I needed to know that she was really okay. That she felt safe and welcome. And that she was still moving forward.
I’d seen hints in her letters of her stumbling backward. Of her questioning everything. I didn’t have the first clue what it was like for her, but I imagined that was all part of the process.
I felt like her therapy sessions really helped her. Even though she said that her doctor didn’t really talk all that much, I could see how Ingram was being guided through working out everything. And yeah, she may not have gotten all the answers to some of the things she didn’t understand, but then again, I wasn’t sure she ever would.
Truth was, I wanted to help her understand and maybe there was a small part of me that felt the need to grasp some of the things she had gone through. And maybe one night, I’d had a little too much to drink which led me to ordering a few books after I’d reread her letters for the umpteenth time. I couldn’t say that I regretted it though. I Just wished Cable hadn’t found out about that shit.
What I learned was that crazy people were all different. Their reasons behind why they did the shit that they did, well, it didn’t make a damn lick of sense to me. The simple answer would have been that they did it because they could. They just had minds that were twisted and a way with words that could easily manipulate people with a weaker thought process.
