Chris grabbed the pen with a smile and leaned over the kitchen counter, ready to sign his life away.
Something washed over me right then and it felt like I had lead filling my stomach.
“Wait,” I said as my hand wrapped over the Chris’ that held the pen.
They both stared at me as if I’d gone mad.
“Something is not right,” I whispered and my eyes went a little unfocused. I had nothing to follow that up with because I didn’t know what was wrong. But I was smart enough to know that I needed to listen to my gut. Something I’d learned recently.
“Ingram?” Chris asked and I could hear the concern in his voice.
“I-I don’t know. I have this weird feeling. I do not think this is the right time. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Calm down. We can talk about it. Show it to Ky if you want.”
“Yes,” I said though I knew whatever was going on had nothing to do with Ky.
I apologized to the woman for wasting her time. She smiled at me and told us to keep the paperwork in case we decided we wanted the place.
Chris drove us back home and once we were inside, he asked me if I was okay again.
“I don’t know, Chris. I just got this weird feeling and it was like something was telling me to hold off for now.”
He wrapped me up in a hug and told me that it was good to listen to my gut. He wasn’t mad at all but I still felt bad that I’d basically wasted our day.
For some reason, I was desperate to talk to Mouse. I needed him to work through whatever was going on and I had a feeling he would know just what to say.
Only as I dialed his number for the second time in a row and instantly got sent to voicemail, I knew I was on my own.
I might have cried myself to sleep that night. Which was stupid because I shouldn’t let anyone make me feel that way. I shouldn’t give him the power to hurt me that badly.
I thought we had something. I really thought that he’d shared a big part of himself with me that night like I had with him.
I guessed the only thing I could say was that getting your heart hurt a little was a part of life. And I had been so desperate to experiencelife, right?
