It hadn’t been easy and I think at first he didn’t know what to do with me.
Chris.
If it wasn’t for Chris, I think both Ky and I would have fallen on to a dark, scary path.
The long day started to seep into my bones and I said my goodbyes. Knowing that they would all stay a while longer chatting, I didn’t feel so bad.
In my room, the darkness seemed to surround me. I could hear the low murmurs of conversations but it didn’t stop my mind from drifting off.
All my life, I had been shown and taught not to think. To go through the day blindly doing the same thing over and over again. I did the things that were expected of me without question.
I had this warped sense of how things should be. I quickly realized that it wasn’t always that way out here… in the real world.
Chris was the first to show me that women didn’t have to do all the cooking. In fact, some of them didn’t even do it at all. And some men actually liked to be in the kitchen.
My grandmother was the first to show me that love was supposed to be unconditional.
Ky was the first to show me that no matter what I’d done or been through, I was worthy of love and support. Even if it had taken a little while to see that from him.
Cami and Laurel were the first to show me what true friendship was.
Mouse…
As I thought about Mouse, so many things drifted through my mind.
Mouse had been the first to show me many things, though I didn’t think he even realized it.
He’d shown me kindness from the moment he met me. I may have been scared out of my mind the day I arrived at the club, but I will never forget the man that took my hand, helped me to sit down, and brought me water when he saw I was unsteady.
Mouse had been there as a good friend. Not only to Ky, but to me as well.
I remembered being in that store trying to get all the things I needed for when Chry came. My heart had been racing and I felt like I was dizzy and overwhelmed. I had Laurel and Mouse with me. And while Laurel had been the one to help me pick out the exact item I wanted, it was Mouse that had searched on his phone for all the things that I needed. Without an ounce of panic in his eyes, he smiled at me, told me it was all going to be okay, and then helped me stay focused on what I had to get right then.
Then he had been there when they’d taken me. He and some of the other brothers had found me but Mouse had been the one that I remembered there that night. I was so scared that they were going to drag me back to the place I had run from and I was going to be trapped back in that hell. And I was terrified that Chris was dead and that my brother was soon to follow. That my unborn baby would grow up in the world I’d come to hate and despise. But then Mouse was there to make sure that didn’t happen.
And then I saw the panic in his eyes as I went down that long flight of stairs. It had just been a flash before everything went blurry like I was in a tornado. But I had seen it and I’d had a feeling that I wouldn’t ever forget it. Just like I would always remember how he never let my hand go all the way to the hospital. Not until they demanded that he did.
I couldn’t even tell you why I wanted him in that room when I couldn’t even bear for my brother to be there.
As my mind drifted back to that night, I tried to find an answer.
Back in the camp, men didn’t attend the birth of their children. It was considered dirty and unclean. Not somewhere that men should be. While I had tried my best to shake off my upbringing, it was clear that I was still holding on to certain things. I guess the best thing I could come up with was that I didn’t want Ky to see the unclean part of me.
But why Mouse?
I didn’t have an answer for that either.
He had kind eyes.
He had a gentle touch.
He had a bright smile.
So, I had begged Ky to leave and let Mouse stay.
A smile forced its way onto my face as I remembered those two days. Mouse refused to leave my side, even when Ky came to check on me and Chry. Mouse was there making sure I ate, changing Chry when I felt tired, helping me get to my feet and walk around, and doing everything he could to make sure I was comfortable.
Mouse was a true friend.
