He slides out of me but doesn't say anything. He stands, pulls his shorts up and moves my underwear back to where it was, covering me and straightening my skirt. I sit up and look up at him. He looks like a Greek God stood there, towering over me. He holds out a hand to help me up. I don't take it—no point relying on him for anything. I stand up on my own.
“Sophie...” He runs his fingers through his hair.
“Don’t bother, I'm going to put you out of your misery - I know what this meant - nothing. I get what you're saying to me, that you won't ever be ready to be with me like I need you to, but do you have any idea what you're letting go here? A chance at happiness? Because Iknowwe would be great together.”
“I don't think I'm good for anyone, and you’re right, my scars do go way deeper than skin deep and until I deal with those, I'm no good to anyone.”
I nod. It's sad, but I know it’s true - and at least he admits it and is honest with himself and me.
I stand up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Bye, Big Guy .”
“Bye, Blue.” He whispers, and I let myself out.
Chapter Twenty
Declan
I can't help but think how fucking stupid I am as I lock up my empty house and make my way to my parents for dinner - with Jack, Robyn, and Eli - they'll be there - playing happy families - but not me. No, I’ll be there on my own because I'm a total and utter dickhead.
I haven't heard anything about Sophie, except the guys at the station tell me that Tom now hates me because Sophie handed in her notice. I guess she doesn't need the money for her dad anymore, and as far as I know, she’s still staying at Mia's. The fact that she doesn’t want to see me might have something to do with it.
I picture her face when she told me she wouldn't give up on me - and I told her she had to. She came to me that day with a look of determination, one that said she believed she was doing the right thing, but the more I spoke, the more I could see doubt coming to the surface. She deserves someone better than me.Fuck’s sake! Why can't I get her out of my head? I love her so much. I feel so guilty because what I feel for Sophie consumes me, and it makes me wonder if my feelings were that strong for Violet. I loved Violet, no doubt - but I don't remember her consuming my every bloody thought as Sophie does.
I know Jack and Robyn will undoubtedly be shooting evil thoughts at me. At least Eli will be pleased to see me. I avoided dinner last Sunday, but Maddie is visiting, so I want to see her – that means facing the firing squad.
As soon as I walk into my parent’s home, I know it's going to be as bad as I expected.
Jack shouts out. “Here he is, the most stupid, idiotic man to ever walk the earth.”
Mum, at least, jumps to my defence. “Jack, leave him alone. You wanted him to come tonight. You carry on, and he’s going to turn around and walk right back out again.
I give Jack a smug look. “Yeah, Jack, so behave, or I'm gone.”
He shakes his head, looking disgusted with me. It’s going to be a fun night.
Maddie walks in and smiles at me, but it doesn't reach her eyes - she looks worried. I'm guessing everyone has filled her in. She knows Sophie, they’re friends. No doubt she’s going to give me a hard time too—no chance of a private life in this family.
