“So, what are you doing today?” she asks
I sigh. “I guess I better find a flat, so I need to get on that.”
She frowns. “Why? You can move in here?”
I shake my head. “No hun, I know you like your space.”
“Well, yeah...but I like you more.”
I laugh. “No, it's fine. I’ll find somewhere.”
“I mean it. At least don't rush into anything - wait until things settle down. I have a spare room we can clear out together, I know it’s full of crap now, but if we both set our minds to it, we could have it cleared in a day, and I'm sure we can pick up a cheap bed from somewhere.”
I think about it. Itwouldbe better than to rush around looking for somewhere today. It's the last thing I'm in the mood for.
“Are you sure? Just for a little while until I get myself somewhere?”
She nods. “Yeah, settled. You can stay here as long as you want.”
“What would I do without you? Thank you. I’ll pay half to the rent while I'm here.”
She waves her hand dismissively as though that is a closed topic, but I will make sure I pay my way.
“So, what do you want to do today? Want a bit of retail therapy?”
I nod as I bite into my bagel. At the moment, I have to consciously chew every mouthful so that I can swallow it. Heartbreak and food do not mix.
“Don't freak out, but I need to go and see Dec.”
Her eyes widen. “What? Why?”
“I need to finalise things...clear the air. Everything ended so badly - I need to see if his head is still in the same place and if it is, I’ll move on, I promise - let me do this.”
She shakes her head. “I get it. I know how you felt about him. But don't let him treat you like shit. You deserve so much better than him.”
I try not to wince as she says those nasty things about him. The truth is, I know he’s a good guy - he’s damaged, but all she can see is how he hurt her friend.
“I won't. I only want to talk.”
I get ready and try to look as nice as possible. It's a sunny day, so I decide on a floral t-dress with my biker boots and a biker jacket. I do my hair - the first time I’ve made an effort in days. I finally feel like I’ve gotten the taste of smoke out of my mouth, bonus. No wonder I haven't wanted food.
I’m nervous as I make my way up Dec's path. It seems weird knocking on a door where I used to live. I have to do this, though - have to give him one last shot at him letting me in. I knock and wait. I know he’s in - his car is out front.
I start to doubt that he’s going to answer the door at all when it swings open abruptly.
He’s soaking wet, dressed in a towel and a t-shirt. The t-shirt is now dripping wet through, especially with his hair wet. It makes me sad that even though he was in a hurry to get to the door, he still put on a top to hide his scars.
“Oh god, sorry. Bad timing.”
He looks wary when he sees me standing there. I see his eyes go down my body. He does it quickly but I see it.
“Come in. I’ll go and get dry and put some clothes on.”
Yeah, please do. It's distracting seeing him dripping wet and knowing he’s naked underneath that towel, I know how talented he is with what’s under the towel, so it’s best he covers it up.
When he gets back downstairs, I'm still standing in the hall like a spare part. I don't want to go into the living room – it doesn’t feel right. I seriously doubt if I should be here now that I'm actually standing here. I think about making a swift exit but decide to stay. I came here to say something, so I’ll say it.
I slide my jacket off and hang it over the bannister as I watch him come downstairs. My mouth goes dry at the sight of him. He is a beautiful man. His sweat shorts hang low on his hips, and he’s put a dry white t-shirt on. It's a stark contrast against his dark skin and dark beard and hair - he needs to be a model. Women would buy whatever he is selling, no doubt about it.
