Chapter Nine
Sophie
We walk back up to the room in silence. The tension in the air is so thick you can feel it. I can't bear this any longer - I have to have him - I have to know what it feels like with him. We've both agreed, sex only - no feelings. We can both scratch an itch without feelings getting involved. We both know where we stand and it's not like I'm a virgin.
He gets the key card out of his wallet, opens the door, and steps back for me to walk through. As I walk past him, he grabs my wrist. I stop in my tracks and look up at him.
“You sure you're fine with this?”
I nod. “Oh yeah, I'm more than fine.”
“It feels awkward between us.” He looks unsure.
“It's not awkwardness on my part, Big Guy, it’s anticipation.”
I see him swallow, he looks nervous.
I tilt my head. “What’s up?”
“I...this sounds fucking pathetic. I don’t want to tell you, but I feel I should because it may affect, well, it may affect my performance. I haven't...I mean...it’s been a while since I've been with a woman.”
“How long?”
“A long time.”
“Months?”
“Years, Soph...nearly three years.”
My body goes solid, my eyes widening. Oh my god, he did die when she died. I understand that he closed himself off from everyone when the accident happened, but I didn't think it would have stopped him from being intimate with someone.
“You haven't been with anyone since Violet?”
He shakes his head and looks down. “Maybe this isn't such a good idea.”
No way. He needs this - needs to move on, and if he has to use my body to do it, so be it - it's not like I won't get anything out of it - we have both made it clear, no feelings involved.
I step into him so that our bodies are touching.
“Declan. Thisneedsto happen, trust me.”
He looks at me, so close now that I can see all the different shades of brown flecks in his eyes. “It won’t be good for you.”
“So, we’ll do it again. Don't worry.”
“You have more experience than me.”
“Yeah, make me feel like a slut why don't you.” I laugh.
His eyes widen. “I didn't mean it like that.”
I bat his arm. “I know you didn't, stupid - I was joking.”
He sighs.
“Kiss me, Declan.”
