“Grant just clued me the fuck in. Let’s ride and get Molly. We gonna worry about everyfuckinthing else later.”
“I’m sorry, CJ—” Rory started.
CJ shook his head. “Protecting Uncle Johnnie because he’s a stupid motherfucker is one thing. Protecting him over my mom, when we both know how much he hates her, is unforgivable. DeLuca could’ve raped, kidnapped, or killed her. He could’ve killed Uncle Johnnie,mydad,anyof the members.”
“I love my dad!” Rory spouted the same old tired song that CJ no longer gave a fuck about.
“Why?” CJ said viciously. “There’s nothing lovable about that raggedy motherfucker.”
“CJ—”
“Shut the fuck up, Rory, you stupid motherfucker. Don’t you fucking get it? Even if Bash and DeLuca aren’t motherfucking threats to Mom,John motherfucking Donovanis. He wants to fucking hurt her, andthat, motherfucker, is unforgivable.”
“I’m sorry, CJ,” Rory cried. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
CJ kicked the chair, wishing it was Uncle Johnnie’s head. “Fuck you, Rory. Fuck you. Do you hear me?”
“I love you, CJ,” Rory said. “I’ve always admired you so much—”
CJ fuckinghatedthe pity he felt toward Rory. The understanding of what motivated him to try and protect hisfather as much as CJ wanted to protect Mom. He didn’t want to understand. He didn’t want to pity him.
“I wouldn’t put it past Uncle Johnnie to have encouraged those motherfuckers to overdose me,” CJ said, exhausted suddenly.
Rory paled and he began shaking his head like that motherfucker was attached to a string pulled by a kid riding a sugar high. “No! I swear he didn’t. He wouldn’t go that far.”
CJ glared at the room at large, snatched the nearest vest, and stormed outside. He needed to calm himself. But he couldn’t. Hecouldn’t. As much fuckery as Ryan always did, CJ never thought Rory capable of the same thing.
Whether Ryan awakened and went with them or CJ would be the only one, Molly didn’t need a bunch of angry, emotional guys near her.
Fuck.
Angry and emotional.
He’d been living on anger and despair, and it kept coming out at the worst possible times. Or, in this case, therightfucking time.
CJ scrubbed a hand over his face and bent over, gripping his thighs and heaving in a breath. He loved Rory, too. He even liked Ryan nowadays and…why did it all have to be so complicated? Why did even this have a gray area? If this situation was black or white, it would be so much easier.
Like Rory, he’d hide shit too if it meant protecting Dad.
But suppose the shoe was on the other foot? Suppose Dad was a miserable, brainless, bitter fuckhead, who targeted Aunt Kendall? Wouldn’t Rory want CJ to do the right thing and protect her?
Fuck.WouldCJ do the right thing? He’d turned his back on Mom too because Dad had asked.
Still doubled over, CJ covered his face.
“We’re about to head out.”
Diesel’s voice reached CJ through his misery.
Swallowing, CJ straightened and Diesel held out the key to his Mercedes. “Regular formation with the officers. You’ll be next in my car. If she’s there, she probably needs medical attention.”
CJ snatched the keys.
Diesel grabbed CJ in a bear hug. “I got you, little brother,” he whispered.
“I know.” CJ held onto his brother a moment longer, then released him. “I appreciate you.”
Diesel smiled then returned to the business at hand. “Is it okay if Ryan rides with you? Grant and Rory are taking one of the cars from the garage.”
