“You tried,” she said. “You tried.”
She knew they were speaking of the cow and its calf, but she couldn’t help but see the parallel between herself and Jonah.
Had her marriage been as much of a failure as she made it out to be?
Goodness, she did try to live up to Jonah’s expectations of their marriage. In retrospect, he had done the same thing for her. When she complained about not having some trinket or other, he would do what he could to reproduce it.
Their marriage had not been perfect.Was any marriage?But they tried.
Perhaps if Jonah had lived, they would have made it a better marriage. Even when they were their angriest at each other, she never thought of leaving him. She’d love Jonah and she knew he loved her. Maybe that love would have seen themselves to a better togetherness.
She would never know now. In those moments watching the calf drink from a mother that wasn’t its own, some of the guilt she’d carried lifted from her shoulders.
“Christopher, why did you want to be an animal doctor?”
He glanced sharply at her, a hint of distrust in his eyes. Alarmed by his look, she asked, “Is something wrong? Do you not want to talk about your work?”
Still, Christopher said nothing, and then, without answering her question, he launched into the reasons why. She found it very interesting, asking questions as he told her. The time seemed to stand still as they talked. He had a wonderful voice, low and calming. She could understand how some wounded animal would respond to that reassurance.
She found herself laughing at some of the things he told her of the animals he cared for.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he finally asked her. As they talked by the pen, they had moved closer together, unaware of the distance until she nearly bumped into him.
She should feel some sort of uneasiness.
Instead, she felt anticipation. For those wonderful eyes of his had darkened.
“I am,” she said breathlessly. “You make it sound so interesting.”
“It’s easy when you have such a captivating audience.” He reached out and touched her cheek. “Or when you’re simply captivated by the audience.”
The air stilled around them, humming with a different kind of tension. Christopher did nothing more than stroke the edge of her cheek, but it sent wonderful sensations along her nerve endings.
“I want to kiss you, Lauren.”
“I want you to kiss me,” she whispered. “Is that very wicked of me?”
Christopher seemed to think it over. “I won’t ever take liberties, Lauren.”
Was it too soon to feel this way about Christopher? Was the fact that she was making her an unfaithful wife? If not to Jonah as a husband, but his memory?
But if Jonah were alive, she wouldn’t be here at this moment. After all, she never had any wayward thoughts about any other man. She had wanted to live in Philadelphia with her husband, not away from him.
And didn’t Pastor Collins force the widows to get married again? A man as strict about displaying righteousness couldn’t think that it was wrong to marry another man.
With that sound argument worked through in her mind, she said, “I’d very much like you to kiss me, Christopher.”
Chapter Ten
Christopher hadn’t expected this when he wanted to show her the calf. Throughout the service, he’d wanted to be with Lauren and bask in her presence.
Now, it took all his strength to control himself.What had made him so blunt with her?The answer came – Lauren had to hide her true desires with her husband. He didn’t want her to do that with him.
Today was the first time he’d seen her dressed up well. She wore a rose-colored skirt and a very feminine white blouse, lacy and detailed. How elegant she looked as she sat in the church with the other members. He was glad he hadn’t been facing her. If he had, he wouldn’t have been able to look at anyone else but her.
“Aren’t you going to kiss me, Christopher?”
He sucked in a breath. “There’s nothing I’d like to do more,” he admitted. “But I feel as if I am trying to rush you into something you are not prepared for.”
