‘It’s not as opulent,’ I continued, ‘but it’s certainly exciting. You must be bored being stuck in that knife all the time. Now you can do something more interesting.’
He muttered a few words under his breath. I leaned forward, not quite catching them. ‘What was that?’
‘Dagger. It’s not a knife. It’s not for buttering bread. It’s a dagger. In fact,’ he said, ‘from now on you will only refer to it as a sword. Or a scimitar. Yes. Call it a scimitar.’
I pressed my lips together, forcing myself not to laugh. The letter opener was about as far removed from a scimitar as I was from a troll. If that was all it took to appease him, though, I could manage it.
‘Scimitar, then. It must be boring inside the scimitar.’
‘It’s not so bad. I haveDeep Space Nineto keep me company.’
I whistled. ‘The boxset?’
‘The entire boxset. Frankly, you’re interrupting my viewing.’
Sitting down with a slab of chocolate and some classic sci-fi sounded incredibly appealing and I was genuinely envious. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to see if it was within his powers to lend it to me. How did he even get it inside the knife? Distracting questions swirled around my head before I tamped them down and got back to business.
‘You’ve still not asked where we are,’ I said, dangling the carrot in front of him again.
He sniffed. ‘I don’t need you to tell me. I’m perfectly capable of working it out for myself. I’m a vastly powerful magical being, remember? I…’ He halted in mid-flow. Then he stood up and slowly spun round, his expression full of awe. ‘The Cruaich? We’re at the Cruaich? Girlfriend!’
I grinned. ‘See? I knew you wouldn’t be disappointed.’
He bounced up and down. ‘I thought you were some crappy minor Sidhe with no powers. But you’ve brought me to the Sidhe Court. I’ve never been to the Sidhe Court before. Are the hallways really paved in gold?’
‘Er, not exactly.’
‘Oh.’ He seemed disappointed. ‘But I bet all the plates are encrusted with diamonds, right? I like diamonds.’
‘I have a fondness for shiny, sparkly things myself,’ I confided. ‘But I’ve not been given anything to eat so I can’t tell you what the kitchenware is like.’
His expression was eager. ‘Find out. You must find out.’
‘I will do my best.’
My earlier rudeness apparently forgotten, Bob leapt onto the palm of my hand, belly-flopping and linking his fingers underneath his chin. ‘So, why are we here?’
‘Something to do with the Foinse and the flow of magic. It’s running out or broken. I’m going to help open it so it can be…’ I hesitated. Actually, I was bit unclear about what was going to happen once it had been accessed. Rebooted, perhaps?
‘What?’ He sprang up, the very picture of alarm. ‘The Foinse is failing? Uh Integrity, that can’t happen! You can’t let it happen!’
I regarded him thoughtfully. It hadn’t occurred to me that the Foinse would regulate Bob’s magic too. I supposed it really did affect everyone after all. ‘I’m certainly going to do my best,’ I told him, meaning it. ‘The thing is, before I can help the other Sidhe to open it up, I need to receive my true name. I left the Clans and the Sidhe before I was thirteen so I never went through the ceremony and I have no idea what to expect.’
‘You don’t know?’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Everyoneknows what happens during the naming ceremony. You get your true name. And usually a magical Gift too.’
‘Yes, that part I’m aware of. But how does the ceremony work?’
‘You’re the Sidhe,’ he blustered. ‘You should know.’
I sighed. ‘You don’t know anything about it either, do you?’
His shoulders drooped. ‘No,’ he admitted. ‘Not a scooby.’
Shite. ‘There was something about a fever,’ I said, worried at the thought that I might get sick. ‘I’m going to need you to stick close,’ I told him. ‘I might need to use one of those wishes after all.’
‘Don’t tease me, Uh Integrity,’ he moaned. ‘I know you’re one of those stubborn types.’
There was a sharp knock at the door. I looked meaningfully at Bob and he snapped off a salute, hopping back into the blade with another blinding flash. He gave me a little wave from inside then vanished.
