“A word, Meggie?”
Pasting a smile on her face, Meggie stood, grabbed her purse, then followed the doctor to her office. Dr. Will closed the door and nodded to the chair in front of her desk.
“Sit, sweetheart.”
Meggie sat.
Instead of sitting behind her desk, Dr. Will sat in the chair next to Meggie’s. “Talk to me.”
She shifted and met the doctor’s gaze. “I-I don’t know what you mean, Dr. Will.”
“I’m not thedoctorright now. I’m Jordan. Your friend, who has known you since you were eighteen.”
Heat slid up Meggie’s neck. She could only nod.
“Prior to you turning up pregnant with Jo, we discussed the possibility of your carrying another baby before you were forty.”
Again, she could only nod.
“Do you still want that to be a possibility?”
“Christopher doesn’t want another baby and neither do the kids.”
Leaning forward, Dr. Will took Meggie’s hand in hers. “I applaud you putting your family first, but what doyouwant?”
Shame poured into Meggie, and she glanced away. “I don’t know—”
“I think you do. I get it, sweetheart. Your world is filled with women always around your husband. We both know he only has eyes for you, but we’re human. You can’t be anything to anyone if you aren’t something to yourself. Does that make sense?”
“I want to look at my baby and feel that overwhelming love and joy I always had when all my other children were newborns. I want to look at Jo and feel…even when I was pregnant…there’s no connection.” She lowered her lashes. “Why? Every time I think I feel tied to her, something happens.”
“What does Outlaw say?”
Meggie picked at her jeans. “A few days ago, he offered to put her up for adoption,” she mumbled. That conversation seemed like a lifetime ago.
Releasing her hand, Jordan stood. Other than gray in her hair and laugh lines around her eyes, the doctor hadn’t changed. Her mocha skin remained smooth and wrinkle free.
“Is that what you want, sweetheart?”
“I just…I…” She swallowed. “Suppose…my mother…suppose I treat Jo the way Momma treated me? I never asked her if she ever felt a connection to me. Sometimes, it seems as if she did. Many times, I was just a burden.”
Her nostrils flared and she pasted a smile on her face, unwilling,unableto admit how deeply Dinah hurt her over the years.
“I understand, but do you want to put Jo up for adoption.”
“No. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be fair to my husband. Christopher adores Jo.”
Although she noticed he’d begun to pull away from the baby, too. He didn’t visit her as much. She knew his attention was elsewhere, but it was mainly because of Meggie. He still wasn’t sure if she could be the mother their youngest child deserved.
“Do you love Jo?”
“Very much. Her health crises and her surgeries are devastating. But I don’t know how to hold her. She’s the only one of my kids that I didn’t breastfeed.”
“I understand.”
Meggie trusted Jordan. Not only as her gynecologist, but as her friend. Originally, Jordan was placed on the club’s payrollforMeggie. Later, she became one of Roxy’s close friends, and married Roxy’s husband’s best friend.
“I get it,” Jordan said softly. “You haven’t had a chance to catch your breath for weeks. It’s been one crisis after the other.” She switched gears. “How’s CJ?”
