“She did. You was there, motherfucker. You heard her,” Dad said flatly. Not caring that Uncle Digger looked on the verge of fainting, he turned back to CJ and Uncle Mort. “That fuckin’ doctor Johnnie and Rory dismemberin’ right now a new hire at the hospital.”
Jesus Christ, Dad had gone fucking insane.
“Fuck,” Uncle Digger said in a strangled voice.
“His name was Mason Hough. Stretch lookin’ into his records. I ain’t able tofindno link back to Bash,” Dad said in a pained voice. “I justfeelin my gut, that motherfucker playin’ fuckin’ games. Whether he wanna do serious harm or he just wanna run fuckin’ circles around Johnnie, I ain’t too sure.”
The statement lost CJ. “Why would he waste his time and resources just to make a fool out of Uncle Johnnie?”
“Cuz Johnnie a stupid motherfucker and Bash just wanna prove that fuckin’ point.”
That made sense. CJ trusted his father to figure it out. “Dad, please don’t kill Narci, Potter, Bishop, and Torrin. Please.OrNyx, Fia, and Tennysee. Unless you prove they are in cahoots with Bash, they are innocent. You’ve made the people truly responsible pay already. When Mom sees I’m fine, she’ll tell you not to kill them, too.”
“I ain’t too sure she ever will, son.” Dad glanced in her direction again. “We just pushed her too fuckin’ far.”
“So, what does that mean?” CJ asked. “You’re just going to kill indiscriminately now? Why don’t you just hand Mom a gun and letherfuck up motherfuckers?”
Dad and Uncle Mort exchangedthoughtful expressions.
“No! I’m not serious,” CJ cried. “Have you lost your fucking mind? This isMomwe’re talking about. She can’t be a cold-blooded killer. She’snota cold-blooded killer. Only you can talk to her, Dad. We all know when things calm down she’s going to regret ordering the deaths of innocent men.”
Dad wasn’t convinced. It was written all over his face. Whatever Mom said,howevershe’d reacted had a profound effect on him. CJ could only appeal to his father’s sense of fairness.
“You don’t kill women. You don’t kill innocent men. No matterwhotells you to do it. That isn’t you. You’re fairer than that.”
Dad gave CJ a severe look. “I kill any motherfucker who hurt or upset your ma. And, maybe, part of it’s guilt for how I hurt Megan with Torie. Maybe, if I woulda killed that cunt weeks ago, I’d feel more mercy now. Or, maybe,Meganwouldn’t be so fuckin’ crushed by what the fuck I did, how much I humiliated her,shewouldn’t want revenge. After almost losin’ her life, almost losin’ Jo, puttin’ up with my fuckery, the unfuckinthinkable happened.” He glanced at the ceiling. “I realized it was you before your ma. If she hadn’t fuckin’ collapsed, I probably woulda.” He looked at CJ. “You her pride, boy. She just love you so fuckin’ much, and those bitches tried to take you from her. They used you to hurt her. If I gotta kill a hundred motherfuckers to make it up to her, tomake her feel vindicated, that’s what the fuck I’m gonna do and I ain’t givin’ a good fuck who the fuck it is.”
He backed toward the door. “Mort, wake up Megan, while I go see how much longer CJ discharge papers gonna be. Tell her we rollin’ out soon.”
“Mom needs to eat, Dad.”
“I’m gonna feed her before I leave. Just give me a few minutes.” Dad turned and walked out.
“Mort, what we going to do?” Uncle Digger’s voice trembled. “Prez reverting back to the way he was in the year after he killed Big Joe.”
CJ couldn’t imagine his father as a careless and cold-blooded killer. Everything Dad did had a purpose. “How was that?”
“He just didn’t give a fuck about his life or nobody else’s.” Uncle Mort scrubbed a hand over his face. “Not until Meggie put him back together and saw the good in him.”
CJ glanced at his mother, now on her back, her face turned toward them. She looked peaceful, even with the circles ringing her eyes.
“Let’s get you home, CJ,” Uncle Mort said. “I’m going to talk to Meggie girl, then we just pray shit settle down for your momma and daddy. Otherwise, we all fucking doomed.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Since Diesel joined the Caldwell family, he counted on one hand the amount of timesUncle Christopherdisciplined him. He counseled Diesel, guided him, and listened to him. And since Diesel patched in, disciplinary measures hadn’t happened. He knew better than to crossOutlaw.
Yet, somehow, the two personas converged and laid down the law as he never had before.
In a weird way, not only did his punishment give him a sense of belonging, but comfort, too. More than money or platitudes or gifts, the fact that Outlaw—Uncle Christopher—treated him as a son showed Diesel everything he’d ever doubted.
He was quite aware that he was also penalized as a club member. However, his sentence was light compared to the others and Uncle Christopher’s angerover Diesel’s behavior with Rebel was as justified as his fury about how Diesel deserted CJ.
Long after Mortician disinfected, stitched, and bandaged Diesel’s hand, long after Digger, Val, Johnnie, and Orange cleared the carnage, Diesel found himself in the meatshack with Joplin and Gail. He promised himself he’d leave the nose candy alone. He swore to himself he’d leave Rebel alone. No more late night visits to her room to watch her sleep. No more jealousy over Kaia Riggs or Bishop.
If Diesel fell off and couldn’t get his act together, he’d leave. He wouldn’t be able to face his family as a cokehead or a molester. He couldn’t continue to blame every woman for his mother’s shitty decisions. Allegiance and appreciation were his new mantras. As the Triplets pointed out, once Outlaw—Uncle Christopher—meted out justice, everything else was fucking child’s play.
The man didn’t fuck around. Not as a father and not as club president.
