“Do you know what it did to me walking into that fucking club and seeing CJ’sbody? HearingMorticiancry?” He leaned forward again, his eyes bright with tears and fury. “Do you, motherfucker?”
Swallowing, Diesel held back his own tears by sheer will.
“To rewatch that fucking video…to see him look toyoufor guidance…”
“I’m the wrong motherfucker to guide anyone,” Diesel snapped, searching for a lifeline. “CJ should’veknown better.”
“When he wakes up, tell him that. Beforehand, look in the fucking mirror so you can see the piece of shit staring back. Diesel Caldwell, CJ’sbrother, would remember he’s seven months away from seventeen, trying to find his footing. Still just a kid who trusted you,believed in you, even after he called you out for the fucking addict we both know you are.”
“I’ve gotten the fucking point!” Diesel growled. “Are you trying to make me feel like shit?”
“As a matter of fact, motherfucker, I am. I still don’t think the level of your betrayal has sank in. I don’t think you fucking appreciate how much some of the brothers resent CJ, your friends included. They believe he’s short-tracked to lead the club. They think they don’t have a chance.”
“According to you, I’m Outlaw’s son, too. I never got pushback or jealousy…” Anger surged into Diesel. “Then, again, I don’t have a fucking chance of a snowball in the desert to ascend to the top.”
“You’re a pussy crazed drug addict. You don’t have it in you to lead.”
“Thanks a lot, fuckhead—”
“Shut the fuck up, Diesel. I’m so fucking sick of your pity party. I doubt Outlaw knows you’re a cokehead. But his instincts are bar none. He knowssomethingisn’t right with you.”
“That’s just a fucking excuse—”
“Your father, adopted father, uncle…howeveryou see him…doesn’t have his heart in the club anymore. Between Cash and Johnnie insisting we need peace and the brothers aligned with them, Outlaw is tired. Why the fuck should he alone risk his fucking life, risk being taken away from his wife and children for motherfuckers who insist on staying away from the danger? Since you patched in, he’s brought in younger members and younger club girls. He took you under his wing, you stupid motherfucker. He expected you to use your fucking brain and realize he was giving you a fucking choice: career, criminal, or a combination. Asshole, heexpectedyou to get your own crew, so when you became chapter president, he’d retain his position as the organization president, and you could install your own loyal lieutenants.”
Momentary shock blocked Diesel from accepting Stretch’s words. Then, memories invaded. Uncle Christopher over the years introducing him to club life. Teaching him to ride, shoot and throw knives. Allowing him to help with the books. Sitting in on board meetings. Church. Parties. Selecting new girls. Inserting him into all areas of club life. Supporting Diesel’s decision to go to college. Attending his football games. Obtaining his GED. Sponsoring Diesel. Taking his advice on club matters, legal matters, and family matters.Trustinghim as a son, a brother, a lawyer, and a club member.
“It would’ve only been until CJ was old enough to take over,” Diesel heard himself say. Any excuse to rationalize his own stupidity.
“Perhaps. And, perhaps not, Diesel. You don’t know how things would’ve turned out because you never saw further than the shittiness of your fucking biological parents.”
“I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Yeah, motherfucker, you should be, and you are.”
Diesel’s shoulders sagged.
Stretch pounded his fist on the table. “Stop with the goddamn pity party,” he roared, drawing everyone’s attention.
“I’ll try to do better,” Diesel promised, but it was empty becausehewas empty.
Stretch’s mouth straightened into a grim line. “Do you happen to know Narci’s and Potter’s location?”
“I’ve called them several times, but nothing.”
“What about Dementor, Exorcist, and Bedhead?”
“Same thing. They aren’t responding to my texts or my calls.”
“I think all those assholes are in hiding. They left their cell phones and their bikes. Surveillance shows them leaving in cars at different times. Meggie’s livid.”
“She has every right to be, Stretch.”
“She does. If our schemes with Torie started Meggie down this path, fucking over her son to hurt her has completed her journey.” He sighed. “Outlaw has me tracing the license plates of everyone who assisted those fuckheads’ escape. If they don’t give them up, they’re dying, too.”
Diesel choked.
Shoving his chair back, Stretch stood. “Meggie told Outlaw he can kill whoever he wishes. Prepare for the coming bloodbath.”
